Gnomes

Part 1

“Where are those two!!?? They have been gone for hours!”

“Of course they have Chris! That list you gave them was nearly a mile long!”

“It was not! That was just the basic essentials necessary for starting your very own garden. I read it all in the book!”

Jonny rolled his eyes as Chris picked up the large red book from the table he stood beside and waved it around wildly in the air. Chris had hardly put it down since he had begun reading it. Jonny almost regretted ever pointing it out to him.

He had just been trying to do a nice thing for the poor man. About a month or so ago his long time girlfriend had dumped him, and Chris had been feeling under the weather ever since. Jonny hated to see him so down. Chris had often mentioned a long time dream he had for starting his own garden one day. But after the breakup he had seemed to forget all of his quirky dreams.

Jonny decided that Chris needed a hobby, something to take his mind off of his aching heart. And one day while at some old bookstore which Guy had dragged them to, Jonny noticed the book. It was like a bright red sign. It seemed to speak to Jonny. “This is what Chris needs,” it said.

So Jonny grabbed Chris by his skinny little arm and pulled him over to it. Chris didn’t seem interested at first. The whole month since the breakup he had been much more distant. But after shoving the book into his hands Jonny somehow convinced him to actually open it. And once he started he didn’t stop. He read that book cover to cover. Jonny thought he might even have eaten or breathed in the words.

Because now he was certainly eating and breathing gardening. It was all he ever thought about, all he ever talked about. And there wasn’t even a garden yet. Jonny was actually beginning to get worried. But he figured that this was better than all the moping.

He was taken from his musings by the sound of Chris grumbling. He looked up to see the man pacing wildly back and forth on the patio of the home he shared with Jonny. It was technically Jonny’s place, but ever since the end of the relationship Chris said he couldn’t bear to live in his apartment anymore.

Jonny was more than willing to open his doors to the man. He had plenty of space, and if he was being honest, more times than not he felt lonely in the large place. It was nice to have another person there.

Someone to come home to. And even someone to fight with. Yes, he even enjoyed arguing with Chris. It was better than arguing with himself, which he had a tendency to do when he was alone with nothing but his thoughts.

Sometimes he still did argue with himself. Lately the arguments were worrying him. They were all centered around Chris. About whether or not he should do certain things. Should he ask him to go to the bar with him when he was looking particularly depressed? Should he hug him when he shivered with the cold? Would it be okay if he sat so close to him on the couch that their legs were touching?

He didn’t know what to think anymore. He had never wondered about these kinds of things before. Or maybe he had, just less frequently. But now that Chris was always around there were always questions like that nagging at him.

At one point he had become so troubled that he had brought the matter up with Guy and Will. They weren’t much help. They barely even said anything in reply. They just exchanged looks and then turned to him and shrugged. That was just a few days ago. And it left Jonny more confused than ever.

Once again Jonny was pulled sharply away from his thoughts when Chris uttered a cry of frustration. “Where are they!? The sun is setting! Look at it Jonny! It’s sunk more than halfway down the sky already!”

Jonny took a deep breath and prepared to try calming the excitable man. Then he let it out again in a sigh of relief when he saw Guy and Will coming through the back gate, large boxes filled with supplies in their arms.

Grunting, Guy set his box down hard on the table. “Geez Chris, why didn’t you just ask us to buy the store for you?”

“Don’t be such a little baby, Guy. So Chris wants a garden. I don’t think it’s much to ask, especially considering what he’s gone through recently.” He whispered the last part through clenched teeth so Chris couldn’t hear.

Guy grumbled loudly, but then went back to the front where the truck they had taken was parked. There were still several more boxes to unload. Most of them were filled with soil. Some contained various gardening tools. There was one box that was filled to the brim with all kinds of seeds, both for flowers and for vegetables. Chris had made it clear he wanted to start this garden from scratch.

Jonny helped Will and Guy to carry the remaining boxes out back. Chris was too busy panicking. At one point he actually began to yell at the sun. Then Jonny sat him down and gave him a lecture. That didn’t do much. Then Will gave him a harsh glare. He calmed down considerably after that. He even came around to the front and stood still long enough to overview the unloading of the boxes.

Everything was going fine until Guy grabbed the last box. When he walked by Chris, Chris saw the contents of the box and let out a shrill screech. Guy screamed in response and dropped the box on his foot.

“Fuck!” he yelled, hopping up and down. “What the hell Chris!”

Will hurried around front, followed by Jonny. “What’s with all racket over here?” he asked, not sounding too pleased. Jonny just watched the scene, trying not to chuckle.

Chris had a look of pure terror on his face, and Guy looked absolutely furious, yet at the same time it was hilarious to watch him bouncing around on one foot while Chris stared at the box with his eyes bulging out of his head as if he had seen a ghost.

Guy pointed at Chris and spoke through clenched teeth. “CHRIS happened,” he growled. “I was carrying the box and he started screeching like a fucking howler monkey during mating season! So I dropped the damn thing on my foot. I think it’s broken….,” he whimpered.

“Enough of your whining Guy. You sound like a little girl. Your foot is about as broken as that brand new record player I just bought.”

“Yeah…..about that. It might have had….an accident yesterday.”

Will’s face turned red. He looked like he was about to explode. “Take a deep breath,” Jonny advised him. He did, multiple times, before he managed to calm down again.

“Chris, why did you scream like that?” he asked, turning to the horrified man. “You act like you just got stabbed!”

“Oh Will….it’s FAR worse than that,” he replied, shakily.

“What, Chris?” Will rubbed his face with frustration.

“There…there…..there are GNOMES in that box!!!!”



Part 2

Will just stared at him. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. He opened his mouth to say something, anything. But he was cut off by Guy.

“What’s wrong with gnomes!?” he asked. “I LIKE them!” He turned up his nose in a smug expression. “And that is why I bought them. They will make a great addition to the garden.”

“I will NEVER forgive you for this!” Chris declared, jabbing one long finger into Guy’s chest.

“YOU will never forgive ME!?” Guy exclaimed indignantly. “YOU’RE the one who broke my damn foot!”

“Your foot’s not broken! You’re standing on it!” Chris cried, pointing at Guy’s feet, both now planted firmly on the ground. “I’M the one with something broken! My poor little innocent spirit….utterly destroyed upon looking into the eyes of those horrible creatures!”

He fell dramatically to the ground and moaned. Guy rolled his eyes. Will shook his head. Jonny bent down and stretched out his hand to Chris. “Stand up, man. You are embarrassing yourself.” Reluctantly, Chris stood. He crossed his arms and continued to glare at Guy. Guy glared right back.

“Alright…..enough!” Will said. “You are both acting like children. “Now what we are going to do here is compromise. There are two gnomes in this box. We will put one of them in the garden. And the other one we can take back to the store.”

Both Guy and Chris opened their mouths to protest. But a serious glare from Will made them think twice. Reluctantly, Guy bent down and picked up one of the gnomes. “I’m sorry little guy, you’re going to have to go back to the store tomorrow.” He cradled it in his arms. Then he noticed the stares he was receiving.

“What!? I love this little guy!” Then he turned on his heels and brought it back to the truck.

“We really need to get that man a girlfriend,” Jonny whispered to Will. Will nodded.

“Take that box and put it on the front porch,” he told Jonny. If we even have any time to do any gardening today, thanks to Dumb and Dumber.”

“Hey!” Chris exclaimed. “I heard that! And for the record, Guy is Dumber.”

“Whatever, Chris. We need to get started on this if we are going to get anything accomplished before dark.”

“I guess you are right,” Chris admitted. “Come, Jonny! Let’s make magic happen!”
Jonny shocked himself by wishing Chris meant that in some other way. But he pushed those thoughts out of his mind and followed Chris to the backyard.

The four men worked hard and even in the few hours that had left to work that day they accomplished quite a bit. More than half the soil had been evenly distributed on top of the rocky surface that Chris had deemed the sight of the garden by the time the last sliver of sun slipped behind the horizon.

“Well I think we’ve done all we can do for today,” Will said.

“Yeah….I’m beat,” Guy added.

“I should probably be getting home now.”

“Don’t be ridiculous Will, it’s already pretty late, and my house has plenty of room. Why don’t you just stay here for the night? As a matter of fact, why don’t you both stay? That way we will be able to finish the garden bright and early tomorrow morning.”

“Thanks Jonny, that would be great.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Guy added.

“Alright, well if you give me a few minutes I will prepare the guest room, and one of you can take my room. I will sleep on the couch.”

“Don’t be silly Jonny! I am just a guest in your house too. I will take the couch, and either Guy or Will can have my room.”

“No, it’s okay Chris.”

“Jonny,” he said fervently, “I would really like to sleep on the couch.”

“What’s the big deal?”

“Because…..there’s no lock on the window in my room. What if the gnome gets me!?”

“Chris, if the gnome comes after you, you can come sleep with me. But if it would make you feel better, you can have the couch.”

They tried to whisper, but Guy and Will both heard them and exchanged looks. A plan was quickly forming in their heads.

“Guys, we’ll be right inside. First we will clean up the yard a little,” Will said.

“Yeah, it’s the least we can do, since you are letting us stay here and all,” added Guy.

“Alright,” Jonny said. “But don’t take too long, or the gnome might get you.”

“Hey!” Chris exclaimed.

“Kidding. I know the gnome is a serious threat.”

Once they were out of earshot, Guy rolled his eyes. “I don’t know how that man can tolerate Chris. I wouldn’t be able to call that piece of plastic a threat without laughing.”

“Well, he is in love with him,” Will noted. “Love messes with the mind.”

“That’s true,” Guy agreed.

“Now….if you are thinking what I am thinking, we need to-“

“Grab the gnome and place it in the living room for Chris to see!” Guy completed.

“Yes, exactly. And then he will go running to Jonny, taking his earlier statement completely seriously. Which, I’m sure, he did mean seriously, in some distant corner of his mind. By the way he acts around him, it’s pretty clear to me that Jonny would love nothing more than to share a bed with Chris.”

“Yeah, really,” Guy said. “It’s actually kind of revolting, the way he looks at him.”

“Oh stop, Guy. You’re just jealous because the only relationship you have had recently is with a plastic garden decoration.”

“Fuck off,” Guy told him. Then he stalked off to the front porch, picked up the gnome out of the box, and tucked it carefully it in the large front pocket of his sweatshirt.

Later that night, Jonny was sleeping peacefully in his room. Chris was tossing and turning on the couch. Will lay wide awake in the guest room, waiting to hear the plan go into effect. He heard the slight creak of the wood in the hallway as Guy crept out of Chris’s room, carrying the gnome in his hands.

Quietly, Guy placed it by the couch in a place where Chris would be sure to see it if he was woken up suddenly by, say, a loud noise. Perhaps like a spoon hitting a pan. Guy crept towards the kitchen, but stubbed his toe on some piece of furniture in the dark.

“Shit!” he whispered, but loud enough to wake Chris. Guy could hear him stirring. He hadn’t intended for things to turn out this way, but it worked just as well, and he quickly snuck back to Chris’s room before Chris noticed him standing there.

Not a minute after he was back in bed, he heard a loud cry from the other room. Then he heard the pounding of two feet, running, no, sprinting, down the hall and into Jonny’s room. Guy and Will heard whispers of exclamations, but they couldn’t make out what was being said.

Then there was nothing but silence. The two men decided there was nothing to do but wait until morning when they could see once and for all if their plan had been a success.

Early the next morning both men crept out of bed and down the hall to Jonny’s room. They peeked in through the door and grinned. Jonny was sleeping on his back with Chris’s head lying on his chest. His arm lay across Chris’s stomach. Both of them slept peacefully with smiles on their faces.

“Ahhh, gnomes” Guy whispered appreciatively. “I knew you wouldn’t let me down.”




THE END

Dressed To Please

I was late
For a very important date.
This was one I could not miss.
I had to see Jonny.
On this I did insist.

So to my room I go
And under a pillow
Was a shirt.
I put it on.
Sure, that’ll work.

I grab a pair of pants
And I do a little dance
Because they’re black,
And black goes with everything.
Unless I’m on crack?

Now I needed shoes
But I found it hard to choose.
It was muddy outside,
And I needed to look nice.
So the sandals I denied.

Now with boots on my feet
I stepped out onto the street.
But weather was not warm.
So I went back inside
To give my dress a quick reform.

I wrapped a scarf around my neck
And was toasty in a sec.
For good measure I added a hat.
I felt much better now
And was out the door in seconds flat.

Hurriedly I made my way
Down London streets by the light of day.
Soon I reached the desired place.
I moved my eyes around
And they it lit up when they saw his face.

He was just standing there
His beauty more than I could bear.
He smiled at me.
Then held me close.
“You’re just the man I’ve been waiting to see.”

He looked me up and down then laughed.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to chaff.”
“Your clothes just look so funny.”
I frowned and so he kissed me hard.
“But it’s okay, I still love you honey.”

Parks and Recreation

Part 1-Parks

Spring fever was running rampant throughout the body and soul of every human being in my little town. Everyone was affected by it. All the retired folks were lounging on their porches, sipping lemonade and chatting amiably. Homeowners everywhere were proudly mowing their lawns for the first time that year. Happy gardeners were tending to their prized gardens, trimming bushes and pulling weeds. And I could already smell the first of the year's barbeques.

But no one here was ever more affected by the changing seasons than the children. Kids of all ages relished the chance to enjoy everything that spring had to offer them. Toddlers giddily stomped around in the freshly cut front lawns of their parents. Elementary school children rode around on bicycles and skateboards. Some young teens on my block organized teams and played rugby in the street, as they do every year.

And me? Well, I didn't really enjoy any of that stuff. But I loved to be outside all the same. As soon as I caught that first whiff of springtime air I had to surround myself in it. I've always hated being cooped up indoors. Fresh air was my best friend. Well, fresh air and Jonny. Thus Jonny was the unfortunate soul I dragged along with me after school hours on the first warm day in months.

"Where are we going?" he asked with mock annoyance.

I grinned rather widely in his direction. "The park, obviously."

He rolled his eyes. "I should've known."

Yes it's true, I was a sixteen year old boy who loved nothing better on a spring day than to visit the park. Jonny always told me I was like a giant five year old. I can't say I disagree with him. I loved the park more than any other place. I felt kind of bad dragging Jonny along with me. But I really needed this today. School had been rough.

It had started off quite well. I found out that I had gotten the lead role in our school's musical. Apparently Jonny wasn't lying when he told me I was a great singer, although I still wouldn't go so far as to say I was great. But I was good enough for my school, and that filled me with joy.

I was elated. No one could bring me down. Well, until some gang of senior guys did, literally. They saw me in the hallway, merrily humming a little tune as I walked to class. They surrounded me with surprising speed and knocked my books onto the ground, shortly followed by me. The warning bell rang and they scurried away, laughing.

I tried hard not to cry, but I was really hurting. My knee had made contact with the floor, hard, and left it bruised and swollen. I couldn't keep a few tears from sliding down my cheeks. I suppose I should've known this would happen. I was accustomed to being bullied at school. Jonny always told me that he wished I had never admitted being gay, because he couldn't stand to see me getting abused this way. But I wanted people to know. Even if it meant getting beat up on a near daily basis.

But boy was I lucky to have Jonny. That time, like so many other times before, he helped me up and gave me some comforting words, and I forgot all about my injury. They were always along the lines of how I was better than they were and that they were just jealous. It was all so ridiculous, but it made me feel better. Without him I don't know how I would have survived a single school day.

I think my bad experience that day was a large part of the reason that Jonny agreed to accompany me on my crazy park visit. We walked side by side, not saying a word. With us it wasn't always necessary to communicate verbally. Some things we just knew, like our mutual desire to silently enjoy the lovely weather. I felt the warm sun on my face and the gentle breeze on my skin. In what felt like no time at all, we had walked the up the path that lead to the quaint little park.

It was quiet and secluded. All around us were trees with brand new leaves, freshly cut grass, and flowers. But I set my sights immediately on the swings, my absolute favorite thing there.

"Race you!" I shouted playfully at Jonny. I saw him roll his eyes again, but he nodded and after my five second countdown we were off. I won easily as I had always been an excellent runner. I had already made myself comfortable on a swing by the time Jonny caught up, breathing heavily.

"Chris," he gasped, "your energy level astounds me." I just grinned and began to pump my legs. Jonny hopped on the swing beside me and did the same, although much slower. Jonny had always been a more laid back person than me. I was just a big ball of hyperactive energy. And swinging was an excellent way to get it out.

Soon I was flying high above the ground, stretching my feet up towards the clouds, only to be whisked back down by gravity moments later. Pathetic as it sounds, this was a real thrill for me. I loved the feel of the wind on my face and the pull of my muscles as I exercised them further and further. Sometimes I would close my eyes and lean my head back so that my curls nearly grazed the ground below.

This would really freak Jonny out. His eyes would widen and he would beg me to stop. I would just laugh. Jonny acted like a doting parent towards me. He was so cautious. I guess that made us perfect for each other; one man careless and the other careful.

A perfect example of our contrasting personalities was later on that day, when off in the distance I saw the same group of guys that had pushed me down earlier. I called out to them, stupidly. I mocked them and called them names, shouting insulting things to the heavens. Jonny tried to shut me up, but I was on top of the world.

In one dramatic motion I jumped off of the swing and landed with a graceful thud on the dirt below. I waved my arms wildly and beckoned to the guys, daring them to come over. I should probably take this opportunity to point out that I do really, really brainless things-a lot. I must really stress Jonny out with all of my ridiculous antics.

On that day I could see how anxious he looked. His brow was creased into a deeply worried line that stretched across his forehead. He finally managed to convince me to shut my big mouth, but by then it was already too late. The guys were already approaching us. I suddenly began to sweat. I didn't' feel so cool anymore, that's for sure.



Part 2-Recreation

Soon the biggest of them was right in front of me. He grinned nastily.

"Oh look, the little girlie wants to play." The other guys snickered. "Well okay, Chrissy. Let's have ourselves little fun, shall we?"

He raised his fist and I braced myself for the blow. But it didn't come. I cautiously opened my eyes and was shocked by what I saw. The guy had been forced backwards on his feet and into his friends when his face came into contact with a fist. Jonny's fist. Bleeding from his upper lip, he shot us looks of pure hatred. We looked at each other and our eyes said the same thing. "Run!" they cried, and we ran.

I got ahead of them quickly, but Jonny was much slower and soon the gang was catching up with him. In a panic I ran back to Jonny and tried to pull him along. But it was too late. They had surrounded us. The main guy didn't waste any time. He raised a fist towards Jonny.

"No!" I cried, and jumped in between the two of them. I had some sort of strange delusion that this would make them go away and leave us alone. What happened instead was me receiving a fist square in the face. It was so forceful that I fell back and landed on the ground in the dirt and the mud. Moments later Jonny was sprawled beside me, having met the same fate.

Then the guys left, cackling like hyenas and high fiving each other. We had mud all over us. Both of our faces sported red marks that were quickly darkening into bruises. Slowly we turned to look at each other, bruised and lying in the mud, and we began to laugh.

We laughed and laughed, and soon our laughter turned hysterical. We laughed until we cried and until our sides ached with the effort. Then we just lay there, the sun warming our bruised faces and drying the mud on our bodies. Again we turned to look at each other.

I am not sure what came over me then. I had never been attracted to Jonny before. But at that moment the green of the surrounding foliage was nothing compared to the green of his eyes. And I don't know, maybe it was the injury keeping me from thinking clearly, or maybe it was the warm weather that was making me loopy, but I leaned in and kissed him passionately on the lips.

He didn't respond negatively. He didn't pull back, or even hesitate. And maybe it was his own bruised face, or the nice weather, but he wrapped his arms around my neck and forcefully kissed me back. It could have been a number of things, but whatever it was, it was empowering.

Our kiss stretched out to fill seemingly endless lengths of time. All the while we grew more forceful and more passionate. Our tongues intertwined. Jonny let out a soft moan, and I pushed myself onto him, so that I was on top of him completely. Still there was no protest. I took that as a green light, a go ahead signal.

Still kissing him, I slowly began to unbutton his shirt. I was glad he had worn this shirt today, and not some regular t-shirt, or I might have had to stop kissing him to remove it. And that was the last thing I wanted to do. The shirt was off now; I had thrown it into the mud. I slid my hands down his sides and he shivered. I began to move my lips down from his mouth to his neck, and finally down to his chest, stomach, and abdomen.

I grabbed at the button on his pants. He grabbed my hand. "Wait," he gasped. He reached out and unbuttoned my own shirt, throwing it casually to the side.

"I want to know how you feel too," he whispered. He gently skimmed my chest, stomach, and sides with his fingertips.

I shivered with pleasure and then could wait no longer. I forcefully grabbed at his pants. It began to rain. It was to be expected. It was England, after all. The precipitation didn't stop us though. The increasing mud made it easy for me to strip Jonny of his jeans. The motion also caused him to slide closer to me. He grabbed at my own pants, and soon we were pressed close to each other, only our undergarments between us.

"Are you sure you want to do this, out in public and everything?" Jonny asked.

The rain answered his question by suddenly coming down much harder. We could hardly see each other's faces, with the already dimming light of the evening made even less by the sudden downpour. To anyone else around we were invisble.

"Yes," I replied and immediately reached down to remove the last bit of clothing from Jonny. Jonny followed suit immediately.

"I want this," I whispered in his ear.

"I need this," he whispered back. And then we were rolling around with each other, completely naked, yet clothed in mud. The rain soaked my hair and it hung down in my face. Jonny brushed it aside and pinned me down with a kiss.

I don't know just how or why, but on that evening we not only wanted to have each other, we needed to have each other, in this way and every way. Maybe it was hormones, maybe it was the fever. The spring fever. I'm sure if anyone else had known about our actions that time in the park, they would all have their thoughts, their speculations.

I've got my money on the fever. In fact, I think I've still got it to this day because ever since then, whenever I look at Jonny I feel things I never thought I would feel. Yes, I believe on that night I caught the spring fever. And over the years I've learned something. This kind of fever isn't something that goes away after a few hours or a few days. No, this fever burns forever in your heart.



THE END

Mirrorball

Chapter 1

It was another busy day. The emergency room was chaotic, especially now that it was summer. Nurses ran around, tending to the needs of the demanding patients. Most of them had injuries and illnesses that could be considered minor. A broken leg here, a low grade fever there. Work in an emergency room for one day, and you will be aware of a human's expert ability to exaggerate.

Jonny knew what to expect when he volunteered to help out that day. Although he was now the head doctor of traumatic injuries, he had once been an average staff member working in the emergency room twelve hours a day, back when he was still in college. He still worked up to twelve hours a day sometimes, but he found his new position to be considerably less stressful.

He was well-liked at the hospital. People respected him for his kind demeanor. When the hospital was short on staff, he would always be the first to volunteer to cover another position. He understood the tension that all of the workers in the ER faced, and was glad to give them a break when he could. Secretly, he actually enjoyed working the ER. Sure the people there were generally just crazy, but they were interesting.

Although he was rarely stressed at his current position, he was often bored. Trauma was not a very captivating field, if you were to ask Jonny. He would much rather examine people's heads the way a psychiatrist would, instead of the way doctors did.

But no one else knew this. To them, he was just the pleasant doctor with a gentle smile who was willing to lend a hand where it was needed. They had no idea that the things he did were for selfish purposes. Jonny was just searching for something to intrigue him during his long hours of monotony. And these were still his goals when he was working in the ER on a brutally hot day in summer, and he came across a certain patient who sparked his interest.

He came into the emergency room the correct way, through the two large doors in the back, on a gurney being wheeled in frantically by three paramedics. He looked pretty bad, even for the ER, especially in the area above his neck. Blood dripped down from his nose and made its way down and around his mouth. Some had dried there already and formed a crusty outline around his lips.

One of his eyes was basically swollen shut, leaving only a small slit where the actual eye could become visible. He had a few cuts on bruises on his forehead and chin, but those were minor. The biggest problem came from a deep gash above his left ear. The paramedics had covered it with a temporary bandage. But Jonny knew the wound must be deep, because a good deal of blood had already seeped through the white dressings, leaving them stained a deep red.

Jonny couldn't even begin to imagine what this man had gotten himself into. But he did know that this was the kind of person he was specifically trained to treat. He needed a trauma doctor, and he needed one now. Jonny hurried over to the paramedics to get a hold on the situation. He was shocked by what he heard.

Apparently, this man had gotten these fairly severe injuries from falling down two flights of stairs. Jonny decided he wasn't shocked by this. He was completely disbelieving. He did not see how someone could simply fall down two flights of stairs. Surely no one could be that uncoordinated.

Jonny came to the only reasonable conclusion one could come to after working in the ER for so long. This man must be seeking attention. Nobody could fall down that many stairs by accident. Even done on purpose, it was a little extreme. Jonny whispered a question into the ear of one of the paramedics.

"Does he have Munchausen's?" The paramedic just shrugged. Jonny was sure that he must. But he let the matter drop for now. Either way, this man needed an immediate examination. "I'll take it from here," Jonny said. The paramedics nodded and quickly made their way back to the ambulance outside.

Jonny beckoned to a few of the nurses. "Get this one to room 420B right away. He needs an MRI immediately."

"Yes doctor," the nurses replied in unison, and hurried off with the gurney.

The scan itself only took a few minutes, but the results would take much longer. The nurses set the man up in an intensive care room, where he could be closely monitored at all times. Now it was time for Jonny's real duties to begin. He briskly entered the room to examine the man's head. The man moved his eye towards the sudden movement. He was responsive. That was a good thing.

Jonny gently laid his fingers on the bloodied bandage. The man winced. "I am sorry," Jonny said. "But I must get a good look at it." The man didn't put up any sort of fuss though, and allowed Jonny to remove the bandages. Jonny stared at the wound intently.

"This is a pretty deep gash you have here. How did you manage this?"

"I.....fell," he said. He sounded absolutely humiliated by the fact. But he also said it with a certain amount of nonchalance, like he was well-accustomed to falling and giving himself severe head wounds.

"I need you to answer a few questions for me. What is your full name?"

"Christopher Anthony John Martin."

"When were you born?"

"March 2nd, 1977."

"Very good. Now, can you please write that information down for me?" The man took the paper and pen that was handed to him and wrote the responses out correctly.

"Good, good," mumbled Jonny. "That's all for now." As he began to leave, he glanced over his shoulder. The man's one good eye stared back at him. He was clearly in a good deal of pain. Jonny decided to ask one more question. "How are you feeling?" he questioned softly. Since this man was clearly crazy, he fully expected to receive a response along the lines of "I'm dying." Instead, he received the most shocking answer of his life.

"I am fine, just unlucky," was Christopher's reply. He actually attempted a smile as he said this. His mouth turned slightly upwards, still surrounded with dried blood, and although his jaw shook with pain, he managed a small grin. Jonny had never seen or heard anything like it before.



Chapter 2

Some hours later, the results of the MRI came in. This was always where the skills of Jonny's profession were truly used to the fullest. A nurse knocked on his office door, and handed him the scans. He thanked her, and began to take a look at them. After only a few moments, he pinpointed the problem, and frowned. It appeared that Christopher had suffered a concussion. It wasn't as major as he had thought it would be, but it was still serious.

He made his way to Christopher's room to deliver the news to him. But he arrived there to find a room without a bed. A nurse was busy hooking up a heart monitoring device to the wall.

"Excuse me, where is the patient? I have to tell him about the results of his MRI."

"Oh, he is just getting some x-rays."

"X-rays?" Jonny found himself oddly worried about that.

"Yes, it looked as though he may have had a broken arm. He should be back soon."

"Okay." Jonny waited in the room feeling awkward, even though he had no reason to feel that way.

After a few minutes a couple of nurses wheeled the bed, with Christopher in it, back into the room. Christopher noticed Jonny right away and tried to smile at him again. Jonny wanted to tell him to stop, that he was going to hurt himself. He wanted to tell him to feel sorry for himself, like a normal person would. Instead he gave a small smile in return. He grabbed a chair and pulled it beside the bed. Sitting down, he began explaining the situation.

"I got the results back from your MRI, and it appears as though you have a concussion. It is not very serious, but it is not a mild one either. We will need to keep you here for at least three nights to monitor you."

"Okay," Christopher replied agreeably. He showed no signs of irritation or non compliance. He seemed to have no problems accepting the consequences of his actions. Jonny was stunned. This man was dodging every stereotype Jonny had formed about people in all his years as a doctor. Although ruffled considerably by Christopher's strange demeanor, Jonny did his best to continue the explanation.

"The first night will probably be the most difficult for you. You will not be allowed to sleep at all. If you were to fall asleep, there is a possibility that you could slip into a coma, so it is very important that you stay awake. A nurse will be in the room at all times to ensure that you stay conscious. And....we'll see how it goes from there."

Jonny noticed Christopher's good eye enlarge in a manner that expressed sadness. He thought this crazy man was finally about to have a normal reaction to this less than ideal news. It wasn't anger, but at least it was something. Or it would have been, had Jonny not been incorrect in judging him once again.

"I'm sorry," Christopher said quietly. "I have caused you and the other staff members so much trouble with my clumsiness." Jonny couldn't even fathom a reply to that. He thought this had to be some kind of joke or something. He searched for a trace of laughter in Christopher's eye. But all he found was regret.

"You're....sorry?" he mumbled these words so incoherently that he was sure that Christopher had not heard him. But he must have, because he nodded in reply, an act which was not the wisest one to perform. He immediately flinched with pain.

Jonny frowned with concern. "That reminds me. We have you on only mild pain killers right now. In these early stages after your injury, we cannot risk giving you anything stronger. So I am sorry, but you are going to be in a lot of pain for a while."

"That's okay. I deserve it anyways, for being so clumsy."

Jonny stared at him incredulously. He felt like telling Christopher that he was being completely ridiculous, that a man as decent and kind as he did not deserve anything but happiness. He had no idea where that was coming from, because he didn't even know this man. Instead, he said "Christopher, you seem like a nice guy, even if you are clumsy. You don't deserve anything like that."

"Just call me Chris, doctor," he replied, ignoring the rest of what Jonny had said.
"Chris then." He looked at him for a few moments. "I hope you feel better soon," he said quietly and then left the room. Once outside in the bustling hallway, he had an urge to slap himself a couple of times in the face, to ensure that he was still sane.

Never in all his years as a doctor had he told a patient he hoped they would feel better soon. It wasn't that he didn't hope that. It was more along the lines that he couldn't say it, because it might give the patient false hope. Either that or it might make them become hopeless; hearing a doctor use a word like "hope" instead of "I know" or "of course".

But now he had said it. And he was beginning to question what was going on in his head. Especially because he was beginning to form an ever increasing desire to walk right back into Chris's room and sit down in that chair and just stay there with him. He wanted to sit there and just look at him. And maybe pick his brain a bit.

He looked down at his watch. Three o'clock. Past lunch time. No wonder he was acting so oddly. He decided to go down to the cafeteria. He had some spare time on his hands, a rarity when working as a doctor. Surely he could clear his head after a good meal.



Chapter 3

Ten minutes later Jonny felt his beeper go off. He threw out his half eaten bag of chips and dashed to the ER. There would be no lunch break today. The chaos was evident as soon as he entered the area. Nurses and doctors ran around frantically. Among the crazy mass of people Jonny pinpointed the one other person besides Chris who he found at all interesting at the moment.

Will was busy giving some scared looking people checkups. He was a cardiologist, but like Jonny did he not mind lending a hand once in a while, even though trauma was not his field at all. The people looked a bit banged up, they sported some nice bruises and some were a bit bloody. But their injuries didn’t look too severe.

However, there was another group who looked to be in much worse condition. After a quick update on the situation from Will, Jonny hurried over to the group that was in poor shape. Apparently there had been an accident a few miles down the road, and a small bus had turned over sideways. The people lying before him were the passengers, clearly.

“All of them are going to need MRIs,” he said immediately. “We can’t take any risks with accidents like this.”

The nurses within earshot nodded and soon patient after patient was whisked away for head scans. Looking around, Jonny decided that there was nothing left for him to do here. He thought about getting a decent meal, but found he was no longer hungry. Instead he slinked off to his office for a little relaxation time before the streams of paperwork from the new MRI scans started to come in.

A few minutes later there was a short knock on the door of the office. Will entered immediately without waiting for a response. He knew he didn’t need to, he and Jonny had been close friends since they first met in college and invasions of privacy was just a part of the package. Jonny looked up and met the serious eyes of his friend. He swallowed nervously. That expression meant one thing. Will was going to give him one of his famous interrogations.

“What gives Jonny? There is definitely something going on with you today, you’re not yourself.”

Trying to deny these accusations was completely pointless. Besides, they were true. “I know I’m not. I have been doing strange things all day. I thought it was because I was hungry or something, but now I am beginning to doubt that.”

“What happened?” Will asked with concern. Jonny was usually so clear headed.

“I think it’s all because of this…..this one patient we got today. His name is Christopher. He told me to call him Chris, but I think Christopher sounds much better.”

“So you two struck up a conversation then? You seem to know a lot about him.”

Jonny blushed. “What, his name? No Will that was on his chart.”

“But the nickname wasn’t. And it’s not like you to remember such trivial details. What did he say to you that is affecting you so much?”

Jonny frowned at his desk. “It was the strangest thing Will. He fell down two flights of stairs. Naturally I thought he must’ve wanted the attention. But when I asked his how he was doing, he said he was fine. Even as his mouth turned up in a pained smile, he said he was fine.”

“Oh you and your stereotypes. There are exceptions to every rule you know Jon. What interests me far more is that you asked him how he was doing in the first place. That is not like you.”

Jonny lowered his head in shame. “I know it isn’t. I don’t know why I did it. I just…. looked into his eyes, well, his one good eye, and it just slipped out.” He sat there for a moment’s time then suddenly slammed his hand down on the desk. Will didn’t so much as flinch. “And then later I told him I hoped he would be okay! How ridiculous is that!?”

“This is very interesting. Not so much what you said as the way you are reacting to having said it. So you slipped up and used that god-awful word hope. So what? It happens to the best of us every once in a while.”

“But now he’s either going to think he will definitely get better or that he definitely won’t! I don’t want him to have to go through that.”

“Why not?”

“Well, because both are horrible states of mind in a hospital!”

Will leaned in and eyed him curiously. “Jonny,” he said softly, “I know why it is wrong in the eyes of a doctor, but what I want to know is why it is wrong in your eyes specifically.”

Jonny didn’t reply. He just stared at his desk.

“Mull it over for a while. Then, in a couple of hours, check on how he’s doing. See what happens, see how you feel.”

Jonny nodded. He could swear he saw Will smirking as he left. He wondered what farfetched reasons Will had thought up. It was too bad these interrogations were always one-sided. He rubbed his head and laid it on his desk. He did not mull anything over that afternoon. Instead, he slept.



Chapter 4

There was an echo in Jonny’s head. At first it was faint, but it steadily grew louder until it was a constant, pulsing beat. And it sounded familiar. It reminded him of Will. He jerked his head up. It was the sound of knocking.

“Come in,” he called with uncertainty. He was disoriented and had no idea who could want him right now.

A nurse entered carrying a large stack of paperwork. Jonny could tell that she noticed he had been sleeping, because she looked embarrassed and remorseful about interrupting his nap. “These are for you to look through, when you have the time,” she stuttered. “It’s from those bus crash patients from earlier.”

“Thank you.” Jonny gave her a tired smile and she backed out of the room in a hurry. Jonny hated the place in society that his name tag gave him. He had everyone’s respect, but not their friendship. This was why he was glad to have Will, at least.

He spent a good hour or so looking everything over. None of the patients had any major head trauma. This was good news. Jonny wanted to believe that he was happy that those poor people weren’t badly hurt. In reality he was just happy that he would have only one patient to check on tonight.

Right on cue, it seemed, his beeper went off. He looked at is watch in surprise. He had no idea it was six o’clock already. He left his office quickly and there was a bounce in is step. Finally he would be escaping the mundane duties of his job and could be entertained. It was time to check on Chris.

He couldn’t help his shocked expression when he entered the room. Chris’s arm was covered in white plaster that went from his hand all the way up past his elbow. But his face had been cleaned of blood, so that was an improvement, although small. “What happened to you?” he asked with a smirk.

“My two left feet happened,” Chris replied sheepishly. He grinned. “So what have you got in store for me this evening doctor?”

Jonny ignored the question. “You can call me Jonny.”

“Okay, Jonny then. What are you here for?”

Although Jonny knew Chris meant no harm by it, he couldn’t help feeling a little hurt by Chris’s words. “Well….” He stuttered, trying to keep his professional manner intact. “I would like to check on the looks of that head wound again. We’ve got to be careful to monitor for any signs of infection.”

“I got it stitched up a bit.”

“Yes, that will help it heal faster. But I still need to check it out.”

“Okay,” Chris said feebly.

Jonny looked straight at him, the way he would if he were relating horrible news to the relatives of a patient. He didn’t know what made him do it. But he spoke in a soft and comforting voice. “I know it hurts. I really am sorry about that. It will only take a second, okay?” And now he was acting like he was dealing with a young child. He rubbed his face with frustration. He needed to get a grip.

“Okay,” Chris said, sounding more assured. He actually did sound a bit like a little kid, and it made Jonny want to smile. Gently lifting the bandages away from Chris’s head, he did a quick examination. The stitches had indeed made the injury look a lot better. And there were no signs that might point to infection. He gingerly covered it with the bandages once again.

“You’re all set for now, it looks just fine. No sign of infection at all.”

“That’s good.” Chris was visibly relieved. Somewhere deep inside, Jonny was disappointed. He couldn’t explain why, but secretly suspected that it had something to do with the fact that an infection meant he would be staying there late. Chris cleared his throat. “Thank you for being so kind to me. I appreciate it. I know I might not be the easiest person to deal with.”

“Don’t mention it. You are a fine patient. Better than most actually.”

“Oh….good!” Chris exclaimed happily. “I was so worried I was being a burden.”

Jonny shook his head at him. “You are quite a character you know.”

Chris grinned widely. Caught up in the moment, he sat up energetically to give Jonny some sort of clever reply. But he forgot an important factor. He immediately fell back down on the bed, wincing in pain.

Instantly Jonny was worried. “What’s wrong? Where does it hurt?”

Still wincing through the pain, Chris gave a raspy reply. “Oh don’t worry, it’s nothing. Just a few cracked ribs.”

Jonny’s eyes widened. He forgot all about being professional. “Cracked ribs!? My god you did all that damage falling down some stairs?”

“Hey, it was two whole flights,” Chris defended.

“True,” Jonny chuckled. He watched Chris with pity as he tried to make himself comfortable. “I’ll have one of the nurses bring in some extra pillows. Since you can’t have any more medicine, you need all the help you can get.”

“That would be nice,” Chris said wistfully.

Jonny went into the hall and walked up to a nurse and gestured to where Chris was. “No one told me the patient in this room had cracked ribs.”

“Well…it was on his chart,” the nurse replied nervously, not wanting to seem disrespectful.

“Oh I never….I mean….I guess I must’ve missed it.”

“We all make mistakes,” the nurse said, forcing a small smile.

“Yes,” Jonny agreed. “Now, is there any chance we can get the man in that room some more pillows? He’s in a good deal of pain.”

“Right away.”

Jonny stood in the hall like a zombie. He hadn’t checked the chart. He couldn’t believe how careless he was being. It was scaring him. The blinds of the glass-walled room were open. Jonny watched as a nurse came in carrying a few fluffy white pillows. She helped Chris position himself with them. He watched as she left the room. And he watched as a contented smile crossed Chris’s face as he finally became more comfortable.

He felt an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t know what to do with himself. He checked his watch. Much to his relief, it was now seven o’clock. His shift was over. He could finally escape this place and the hopefully the weird way he had been acting. It was time for an evening of relaxation and a full night of sleep.



Chapter 5

As Jonny headed out the door, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Will right behind him.

“Want to get a drink?”

“Uh…sure.”

“Thank you for making this easy on me. If you had said no, I would have had to use force,” he laughed.

Jonny laughed too, but Will could hear that it was strained. “I know you haven’t been yourself today. And whatever the reason for that, I thought you could use a break.”

“Thanks,” Jonny said, a genuine smile crossing his face. “It has been a weird day for me.”

“Well now you can forget about it for a little while. Come on.”

They went to the usual place. Will ordered them both drinks. Jonny protested, but Will insisted on paying, repeating that he “could use a break.” Jonny gave up on the argument. Will always won. And besides, he really could use a break.

But after a couple of drinks, Jonny was ready to leave. He had never been much of a drinker, and after only a small amount of alcohol he was already sick of it. Will didn’t protest this time. He thought Jonny looked marginally better than he had earlier, and that was enough for him, for the time being at least.

“G’bye Will. See you tomorrow.”

“See ya Jonny. Get some sleep, okay?”

“I’ll try.”

Normally he would walk home, since it was only a few blocks. But tonight he wanted to collapse on his couch as soon as he could, so he hailed a taxi. In five minute’s time he was unlocking his front door. He headed to the couch and grabbed for the remote, without even bothering to change his clothes first as he usually did. He blindly flipped through the channels until deciding on some old movie he had never heard of.

He tried to focus on it, but soon his thoughts turned to his day at work. Actually, they went straight to Chris, much to Jonny’s dismay. He searched in vain for some sort of explanation for this, and for his previous actions. It was sometime during this thought process that he fell asleep.

His sleep was deep, but unfulfilling. He dreamed in bits and pieces that he couldn’t put together, or even remember when he woke up. He woke up feeling like he had never slept at all. He groaned and squinted to read his watch by the still-flickering light of the tv. It was three thirty in the morning. Three thirty in the morning, and yet he was wide awake.

He lay there, trying to decide if he should bother trying to fall back asleep. He got up. It was hopeless. There was no way sleep was going to come again. Instead he decided to get himself some food. He turned on the kitchen lights and had a look around. He decided on cereal. It was quick and easy.

As he ate, he listened to the silence around him, if that was possible. He surprised himself by feeling lonely. He had always been quite content living alone. But now he wasn’t so sure. He wanted to see another face.

He decided he wanted to go back to the hospital, even though his shift didn’t begin for another five hours or so. Surely he had patients he should be checking on anyways; urgent cases that needed his immediate attention. At least, that’s what he told himself as he headed out the door.

He didn’t even realize that he was walking until he was halfway there. And by that point, he thought it was pointless to get into a cab. By the time he reached the hospital he was sweating. It had somehow gotten warmer overnight. He took some deep breathes once he was inside and felt the cool air conditioning on his skin as he walked to a destination that was undisclosed even to himself, until he arrived there.

Somehow he was standing in the hallway by Chris’s room. There were chairs in the hall, so he sat. The blinds were closed but for a small area, where a small break in them allowed Jonny to see into the room. All he could make out was a shadowy figure lying on the bed. Jonny assumed that Chris would be sleeping. He considered walking in, but was afraid of waking him, because that would mean coming up with an explanation for his actions.

Unfortunately he had to give that explanation anyways, because just then Will turned the corner and saw him sitting there. His eyes were full of questions. But he only asked one. “Jonny, what are you doing here?”

Jonny panicked. He had no idea how to explain himself. He truly did not even have an explanation to give. “Uh…well….why are you here?” he asked sharply.

Will narrowed his eyes. He wasn’t going to let this go. “I just finished giving emergency surgery. But I asked why you’re here.”

“I…um…well…I got a call to come in for an emergency examination, but the person…um…died…I guess.” He knew it was a weak reply, but it was all he had.

Will sighed in frustration. “That’s crap Jonny, and you know it. You don’t get called in for emergency anything.” He softened his tone. “Please, just tell me what is actually going on with you.”

“I don’t know Will!” was Jonny’s rueful reply. “I already told you everything I could. “Chris is just….really interesting. But it’s making me lose my concentration.” He put his head in his hands and sighed loudly. “I don’t know what the fuck is happening to me.”

The look Will gave him showed Jonny that even though he didn’t understand it himself, Will certainly seemed to. “Jonny, listen to me. You wait for him to wake up. Then you go in there, and you tell him how you feel.”

“But I don’t know how I feel!” Jonny replied indignantly.

“Yes you do. You told me you found him interesting. Tell him that.”

“And then what!?” he asked, frustrated.

“I don’t know, see what happens. See how it goes.” But Will’s tone said that he did know what would happen.

“What do you mean?” Jonny asked skeptically.

“You’ve got to figure this out for yourself, Jon.” Jonny was then left to wonder what Will could be talking about, and decide whether or not to punch him. But one thing he did decide on was that he would indeed go talk to Chris later that morning.



Chapter 6

“Later” came sooner than he had expected because of two important factors, the fact that Jonny could not restrain his curiosity and the fact that Chris was a light sleeper. After only a few minutes of sitting, Jonny just had to go into the room. He didn’t know what he planned to do there. He figured he could, at the very least, view Chris up close instead of from the hallway.

But the door was louder than he thought it would be, and his own footsteps were hopelessly noisy. Within seconds Chris eyes fluttered open, and he looked straight at Jonny. Jonny froze like a criminal who had been caught red-handed. Chris shifted around, trying to sit up. Jonny moved to help him.

“Thank you,” Chris replied, still sleepy. “Why….why are you here?” He asked slowly. He blinked a few times, trying to become alert. Succeeding, he sat up further, widening his eyes to their usual size.

“I…um…was just checking up on you.” He tried to smile, but he could tell he was failing miserably. Chris seemed to buy it though.

“Oh, okay.”

Jonny instantly regretted his words. He thought of what Will had told him. “Listen, Chris, I didn’t come here to check up on you. I mean, it is necessary for me to do so, at some point anyways. But this time I just came here because I wanted to.”

“You…wanted to?” Chris asked in confusion.

“Um….yeah. I woke up in the middle of the night, and I didn’t feel tired at all so I didn’t try and go back to sleep. I was bored…and….lonely,” he admitted. “And the first person I thought of, strangely, was you.”

Chris didn’t look creeped out by this, as Jonny thought he would. Instead he looked distraught, like he just couldn’t fathom it. “Why me?” he asked in a whisper.

“Because you’re interesting.” Jonny thought for a moment and decided that he was glad he admitted it. It felt good.

Chris laughed, and it sounded almost rude in the quietness of the early morning. “You think I’m interesting? I’m sorry doctor, I don’t mean to laugh, but that is hilarious. I am one of the most boring people you will ever meet.”

“I told you to call me Jonny,” he replied almost angrily. “And you’re not. You’re not, Christopher. You are, in all honesty, the most interesting person I have ever met. I mean that.”

“And I told you to call me Chris,” he said with another laugh.

“See, it’s things like that which make you so interesting to me.”
Chris rubbed his eyes. He scratched his head. He stretched his good arm. And he stared. Then finally, he spoke.”What else did I do?”

“Huh?” Jonny asked stupidly.

“What else did I do that made me so interesting to you? Please. I’d really like to know. No one has ever said anything like that to me before.”

“Oh, well, it’s hard to explain. Maybe you’d have to be a doctor to truly understand, but you don’t act like other patients do. You aren’t dramatic and you don’t exaggerate your injuries. Actually, you understate them. You shrug them off, like they are no big deal. And you don’t put up a fuss. You are compliant and understanding. But the craziest thing about you is you actually blame yourself for everything that’s happened to you since you came here.”

“Oh so now I’m crazy?” he asked, his eyes smiling.

“And that. That thing you do, where you ignore any compliment given to you. Even now, when you basically just asked me to tell you some of them.”

“Oh. Well, I figure I’m not all that great. I mean, I live with myself every day, so I should know. Right?”

Jonny just smiled. “Well I find you interesting, Chris. Maybe you can’t understand why, but that’s just how it is.”

“You know you’re pretty interesting yourself. You want people to call you Jonny, even though you are a doctor.”

“Well, I’d rather be treated like an average person, not an authority figure,” Jonny responded quietly.

“I understand.”

Jonny looked straight at Chris for no real reason, and Chris smiled widely just for the heck of it. Jonny just had to smile back. The craziness was contagious, it seemed. Eventually though, Jonny decided that he had made the situation sufficiently awkward.
“I’ll leave you be now. You need your rest, I’m sure. I feel bad for waking you up in the first place.”

“No worries. I’m a light sleeper. A flea’s sneeze could wake me up.” Chris laughed as he realized the ridiculousness of his statement. Jonny laughed right along with him. This made Chris laugh even more. He was truly enjoying Jonny’s presence. Unfortunately, he forgot about his injuries again and as he laughed even harder, he suddenly cried out in pain.

Jonny was hovering over him instantly. He eyes were wide with fear. “Are you okay?”
Chris swallowed and gripped his sides. He held back the tears that were building up in his eyes. “Yes,” he gasped. “I’m…okay.” But his voice could not lie. He was clearly experiencing harsh pains due to the cracked ribs.

Jonny was filled with pity for him. He was so kind, and so innocent. He was, at that moment, the last person Jonny thought deserved to be in any kind of pain. He tried to reason things through in his mind, but he couldn’t keep himself from saying the unthinkable. “Hold on. I will tell one of the nurses to give you a stronger pain killer.”

Chris immediately showed relief. “Oh…thank you. Thank you so much.”

“Of course,” Jonny said with a stupid smile on his face. He wanted to kick himself. Instead he called over a nurse and had her replace the medicine. Jonny felt all of his ridiculous stupidity was worth it, however, when he saw Chris’s body become less tense almost instantly.

“I feel so much better, thank you Jonny.” He smiled wider than Jonny had ever seen before. Jonny regretted nothing. He could lose his job because of this, but he didn’t even care. And he gave no thought whatsoever before answering a semi-random and ridiculous question of Chris’s.

“The sun is coming up. I usually like to watch the sunrise. But I can’t see it very well from here,” he said sadly. “Do you think….maybe….you could take me outside? Just for a little while?”

Jonny knew he should say no. He told himself to say no. He tried to force himself to say no. But he couldn’t help it. “Yes” he replied.



Chapter 7

“Thank you so much for doing this. I really do appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.”

“But I don’t understand why I have to sit in this stupid wheelchair,” Chris grumbled.

“Standard hospital policy,” Jonny replied simply. “That, and the fact that I want to make myself feel like what I am doing is not quite so wrong.”

“What’s wrong about it? You are helping me. Doctors are supposed to help their patients, right?”

“Well yeah, but you are really not in any sort of condition to be going outside, even for a little while.”

“Oh,” Chris said quietly. He looked up at Jonny with big, worried eyes. Jonny assumed he was going to ask what potential risks there were to his health by going outdoors. But Jonny realized that he should know Chris better than that by now. So he wasn’t quite so surprised to hear Chris ask in a small voice, “Jonny, are you going to get into trouble for doing this?” He sounded like a small child. It made Jonny even more willing to do anything for him, and much less willing to admit the risks he was taking himself by taking Chris outside.

“No, it’s fine Chris,” he lied. “Doctors do this all of the time. I just wanted you to know that there are dangers in doing this. I sure don’t want a lawsuit on my hands after all,” he laughed. “Not that I think you are the type of person who would file one of those.”

“Okay good. I don’t want to put your position at risk or anything.”

Jonny rolled his eyes. Once again, Chris had skillfully dodged a compliment. “Don’t worry about it,” he told Chris. By that time they had reached the doors that would lead them to a little garden in the middle of the hospital grounds. Small though it was, it was perfect for viewing a sunrise, because none of the buildings blocked the eastern horizon from being visible.

Once outside, Jonny noticed that there were benches too. He pushed Chris over next to one of them and sat down. He realized that he had never been out here before. And he regretted it. The view was gorgeous. The sun had not even become visible yet, but it still gave off enough light so that the sky lit up in stunning pinks, oranges, and reds. This limited light also produced a certain hue on the ground, giving all of the plants an interesting color.

“Jonny, isn’t it just lovely how the sunrise makes the clouds look like cotton candy?”

Jonny looked back up at the sky. It was true; they did resemble the sugary treat. Jonny was ashamed for never noticing before. He realized that all his life he had never really focused on details. He only saw the big picture. And now he regret that. “Yes, it is quite lovely indeed.”

Now Jonny found himself searching for more details. He started by looking at the sky, but after only a few moments he found his eyes wandering to Chris sitting beside him. His facial expression clearly expressed his awe for the sights before him. His eyes were wider than should be possible for a human being, and bluer than they should be capable of being. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed before.

Jonny knew in the back of his mind that he should be keeping track of the time. It would not bode well for him if someone found Chris missing from his room. But he slowly began to realize that he truly did not care. For the first time in a long time, he was doing something interesting with someone interesting. Details in themselves were quite interesting, he began to find. If he had been looking at the big picture, he never would have realized how little he actually cared about his job.

It was the little details that were the telltale signs of the general contempt he had for his position. He never laughed, he rarely smiled, and he was constantly aching to get home so he could watch some mind numbing television show he didn’t even like. At least that’s how it had been until Chris. He felt he could separate his life into eras. B.C., for Before Chris, and A.C. for After Chris.

But there was no A.C., at least, not yet. But Jonny was determined that there would be. He suddenly had an urge to change. But what he should change, he did not yet know. He decided he had time to figure that out, though, and went back to taking in the scenery.

Not long after that, he heard Chris sigh happily. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement. His eyes widened as he saw Chris trying to ease himself out of the wheelchair. He jumped off the bench. “Chris, what are you doing? You shouldn’t stand up yet, you’re in no condition-“

“I just want to get a better view,” Chris insisted. He managed to stand firmly on his two feet. Jonny sighed with relief. He began to make a joke, but the words got caught in his throat when he saw Chris’s eyes suddenly widen in pain. He clutched his chest and Jonny could only stare in shock. There was a dull thud. And then Chris was lying in an odd position on the ground, unconscious.

Jonny continued to stare foolishly at him for a few seconds. Then he felt his legs go week, and he collapsed to the ground in front of Chris. He tried feeling for a pulse, but his hands were shaking so badly that he couldn’t manage it. He forgot everything. He forgot about the consequences of his actions, he forgot that he was outside, and he forgot that he was a doctor. Instead he just screamed for someone, anyone to help.



Chapter 8

Out of pure good fortune a nurse happened to glance one of the windows that faced the little courtyard and notice the scene. She sprinted out immediately to where Chris lay and where Jonny was staring blankly at him. She tried in vain to get any sort of information from Jonny. He was in a state of shock.

However, although the nurse didn't know it, Jonny was aware of her presence. But he simply could not find a way to make his mouth move, or any part of him move for that matter. He was frozen in time. All he could think was that Chris was hurt. Chris was injured, there was something wrong with him. And he had a sinking suspicion that it was all his fault.

Jonny just watched, still as a statue, while the nurse felt for a pulse. Apparently she didn't find one because her movents became more frenzied. She took out her beeper and paged someone. Soon there was a team of three doctors rushing outside with a defibrillator. Then they were kneeling over Chris. One of them charged the paddles, and another gave the okay.

Again Jonny could do nothing but watch as the paddles made contact with Chris's chest, forcing it up with the powerful electricity being emitted. The third doctor held Chris down to prevent further injury as a result from the jolting. This process was repeated several times as Jonny looked on with cold, dead eyes and no expression whatsoever.

After a seemingly endless period of time, one of the jolts finally had the desired effect. Chris opened his eyes with a start and gasped. The relief in the air was almost palpable. The three doctors gave each other small smiles, which were basically like high-fives in this field of work.

Jonny melted then. His muscles returned to proper working order. Or at least fair working order. Tears slid down his face and he slowly managed to stand. Seeing Chris's eyes open and his chest moving without the help of any machine, although slowly, was like winning the lottery to Jonny. Dozens of thank yous pushed past his lips.

The thank yous were not just as a result of the saving of Chris's life. Jonny thought they were also in order because the revival of Chris had made him realize what his true feelings had been all this time. Chris was indeed the most interesting person he had known, though only briefly. But he recognized now that his feelings stretched further than that.

This single patient was now Jonny's lifeblood. Chris had quickly become the main supplier of blood and oxygen to Jonny's heart. Without Chris, Jonny might as well have an actual heart attack. He needed this man now. He did not understand how this was possible to achieve in such a small length of time, but here was no use denying that it was true.

He dried his eyes as he followed the three doctors and the nurse back inside the building as they pushed Chris on a gurney that the nurse had retrieved. Soon Chris was safely back in an intensive care room. A heart monitor was quickly hooked up to him, and with every little beep of the machine Jonny's joy increased.

Chris looked around slowly, quite disoriented. But it wasn't long before he noticed Jonny standing before him. Their eyes met, and Jonny couldn't retain his smile.

"Chris, you don't know how glad I am that you are okay. You should have seen the state I was in. I couldn't even remember any of my medical training."

Chris's eyes filled with tears that quickly spilled over. "Oh doctor, I am so sorry!" he cried in despair. "That was such a stupid, irresponsible-"

"What's with all this doctor stuff?" Jonny interrupted. "I thought we agreed that you'd call me by my name."

"Well, I assume that my actions have caused me to lose my friendship with you. I was so selfish, doctor. I could have cost you your job!" His crying intensified and he began to sob.

Jonny glared at him so fiercely that Chris immediately quieted down and the tears stopped flowing altogether. "Fuck my job," he said quietly. "There is nothing of interest for me in this job."

Chris gaped at Jonny. "You...you don't mean that do you!?"

"Of course I mean it," Jonny replied simply.

Chris continued to gape at him and Jonny just shrugged. Chris wanted to say more, but at that moment a doctor breezed into the room. He sat in a chair with his clipboard covering all of his face but his eyes. His eyes just barely peered over the top, and they gave Jonny disapproving looks. Jonny ignored them.

"Let's see here...Mr. Martin. The results of your tests are in and it seems that you had a heart attack, as we suspected. It was caused by a combination of an overly strong pain medication and an already present heart problem." When he mentioned the pain medicine he glared at Jonny and Jonny suddenly felt the weight of guilt upon him.

"So...what does this mean?" Chris asked in a small voice.

"Well, the underlying heart problem seems to be a defect you have had since birth. It was somehow never noticed until now. But it is a fairly serious defect, and open heart surgery will be necessary to resolve the problem."

"Okay." Chris seemed to be shrinking by the second.

"I will get you a form to sign, and the surgery should begin in about four hours." With that he exited the room. Chris shriveled up among the sheets.

"Jonny?" he whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I told you I was unlucky."

* * * * * * * * * * *

Some hours later, Chris was wheeled out of surgery and into the recovery room. Jonny jumped up from the seat he had been sitting on in the waiting room. He hurried down the hall, but not to Chris. Instead, he caught Will just as he was exiting the surgery room.

"Thank you for doing this last minute Will."

"That's what I'm here for. It is my job, you know."

"I know. But still, thanks. Okay...honestly I came here to thank you for something else."

Will smiled knowingly. "I figured that."

Jonny blushed. "Well...just...thanks for the advice. It really helped me figure some things out."

"That's what friends are for Jon."

Jonny smiled and hurried back the other way, to meet Chris in the recovery room. He sat beside him until Chris finally opened his eyes.

"Jonny....you're here?" he asked sleepily.

"Of course I am." He shifted his eyes around the room. "The doctors say that you shouldn't be left to care for yourself for a while. Is there anyone you can stay with?"

"I'm sure I can find someone." But his worried eyes gave him away.

"Stay with me, then."

"What? No way! I couldn't intrude like that. I've caused you enough trouble as it is, what with your job and all."

"Oh shut up Chris. You should know by now that I would be willing to do anything for your sake."

Chris smiled. "I do."

"Well then, it's settled. You will move in with me as soon as you are discharged."

Chris was silent for a while. "What about your job?"

"I told you already. Fuck this job. They are going to fire me anyways for this incident. But I don't care, mind you. I welcome it. I don't need that shit anymore. I have you."

Chris grinned from ear to ear. "I was wrong. I am not unlucky at all. I am very lucky indeed."

Jonny smiled in return. He didn't say it out loud, but deep down he knew that he was the lucky one.




THE END

The Master Plan

"Look at them."

"I know, they're so obviously in love."

"Well duh."

"But they're never going to do anything about it."

"Unless..." the first girl said with a devious smile.

The second girl finished her sentence for her. "Unless we do it for them!" They turned to each other and grinned.

"Chris's birthday is tomorrow," the second girl said.

"Again, duh."

"Well that's a perfect opportunity to get them together!"

"Oooh you're right!"

No more words were spoken between them. The two girls could basically read each other's minds. They simply exchanged another grin and hurried off to begin their master plan.

* * * * * * * * * * *

The doorbell echoed throughout the flat at eight o'clock in the morning. Someone might have awoken as a result of the sound if the only person living there had not already been awake since the crack of dawn, as he was every morning.

Chris hurried to answer the door. He wondered who it could be. He wasn't expecting any visitors, at least not until the evening. He put one blue eye up to the peephole in the door. On the porch stood a delivery man in an ugly brown delivery man's uniform. He was holding an oddly shaped white box and a clipboard. He tapped his foot impatiently even though he hadn't even been waiting thirty seconds.

Chris opened the door with an overly excessive amount of gusto. At least, that's what the man must've thought, by the irritated expression on his face.

"Oooh, a present, for me? What could it be, I wonder?" Chris's eyes sparkled with excitement. The delivery man, who according to his nametag was called Albert, rolled his eyes.

"Just sign here," he stated grouchily, pointing to the clipboard. Chris dug around in his pockets.

"Hmm, sorry. I don't have a pen." He smiled sheepishly. Albert heaved a great sigh and pulled a pen out of his pocket.

"Here," he grouched. "Now sign the damn thing." Chris scribbled his name onto the paper and handed the pen and clipboard back to Albert, who in return handed him the box. "Enjoy," he said sarcastically.

Chris paid no attention to Albert's less than kind demeanor. He was overwhelmed with excitement that someone had given him a gift. He shouted out a goodbye to Albert and hurried back inside. He set the box on his kitchen table. For a while he just stared at it with big, bright eyes, letting his childlike imagination run wild as to what it might be.

Finally he reached out gingerly and opened it. His eyes grew wide as saucers . Inside the box was a cake. And this was no ordinary cake. It was triple chocolate death cake, Chris's favorite. He jumped around the room squealing. "A cake, a cake!" he shouted to nobody. "A cake on my birthday!"

He finally stopped bouncing and just stared at it. "A cake...I wonder who it could be from?" He scraped some of the rich chocolate icing off with his finger and stuck it in his mouth. "Mmmm. Well whoever it was, they sure do know what I like!" Suddenly he noticed something taped to the inside cover of the box. He pulled it off. It was a typed note.

Chris-

Happy Birthday! I ordered this cake especially for you. I hope you'll enjoy it. You deserve it. You are an amazing person and an even better friend. So when I woke up one morning loving you, I wasn't surprised. You are the person who makes me feel complete. You are as rich in good qualities as this cake is in sugar. I just thought you should finally know. Call me later, okay?

-Jonny

Chris folded up the letter and slipped it in his pocket with a smile. His eyes wet with tears, he called Jonny on the phone. "Come over please. I think we should talk."

Jonny, oblivious to any cake gifts or love notes, agreed. Half an hour later Chris once again ran to answer the door. He didn't even wait for Jonny to come inside before he blurted out what he had been holding in for so long. "Jonny, I love you. But I was too scared to admit it. But now it's all okay right? We can be together."

Jonny managed to hide his complete shock and even formed a coherent sentence. "I...love you too."

"Well I know that, silly!" he said, pulling him inside. "Now come on, I want you to share the cake with me."

"Chris, is your head okay?" Jonny questioned, as he was dragged into the kitchen and forced to sit down.

"Of course it is, why wouldn't it be? I just got the best present ever from the best man ever."

"Oh," Jonny said. he tried to hide the pain in his voice. "Well, what's his name then? I hope he is good to you."

Chris stared at him like he was crazy. Then he burst out laughing. "I'm talking about you Jonny-boy! Who else would I be speaking of?"

Jonny wasn't sure. He had no idea what was going on. But he decided to play along. He knew from experience that it was better not to question Chris's odd behavior. It was better to just go with it. "Oh. Well I'm glad you liked....my present," he said slowly.

"Of course I did! Now let's eat!" he proclaimed. Jonny shrugged and helped himself to a piece of the cake. He found it so funny that Chris had bought himself a cake for his birthday, even though he was going to get one at his party later.

He watched him with adoration as he stuffed bite after bite of cake into his mouth. He laughed out loud when Chris missed his mouth completely and cake ended up all over his face. He didn't have the slightest clue what Chris had been talking about with gifts and all that, but he couldn't have been more glad that Chris had confessed his love. Otherwise he never would have had the guts to admit his own feelings.

"Chris."

"Yes?" he looked up form his plate. Chocolate was smeared all over his mouth. A dab of chocolate frosting sat on the tip of his nose. There was even a streak of sugary icing across his cheek and forehead.

"You've got a little cake on your face," chuckled Jonny.

"Oh," he replied, frowning.

"Here, let me help you." He leaned in and lightly ran his tongue across Chris's cheek to lick the icing away.

Chris gasped, then stuttered. "Jo...Jonny?"

"Yes?"

"There is chocolate on my lips too."

"I was getting to that," he mumbled, and pressed his lips gently onto Chris's. A few seconds passed this way, then Jonny pulled back just enough to whisper in Chris's ear. "Chris, I do believe this is the best birthday you've ever had."

Chris smiled. "I believe that too."

* * * * * * * * * * *

Two girls crouched in the hedges, peering into the kitchen window. The first remembered the receipt she was holding and stuck it into her pocket. "Thirty five dollars for a cake!" she exclaimed. "But it was worth it."

"Of course it was," the second girl replied, fingering her dark brown curls. The first swept her thin, brown bangs out of her eyes. They both smiled. "Success," they whispered in unison.



THE END

Across The Universe

February 14th, 1976


Dear Jonny,

Well it's that day of the year again. Yes, you guessed it. Today is Valentine's Day. It seems surreal that this much time has passed already. I am not sure you remember how long it has been, since I am not exactly sure what you are up to these days. Something far too interesting for you to bother to remember about little old me I am sure. But that's okay, you deserve to enjoy yourself. You have been through so much, haven't you? More than you would ever tell me about. Anyways, if you care to take a trip down memory lane, I can provide the acid. Hah hah, just kidding. We already tried that back in '66. Certainly you remember that. When you saw a whale swimming in our pool, you vowed never to do it again.

I am losing my train of thought. I'm sorry, I know you have always said I should ramble less. Or is it me who says that? I don't know. But anyways, here is a little refresher. One year ago today, I received your last letter. Maybe I should just quote it for you. I am sure I have somewhere around here. Yes, I do have it. It is still under my pillow, how could I have forgotten? I don't know how I manage myself without you. But I suppose in this letter I do have a piece of you with me. And I also suppose I should write it out for you now. Here is what you wrote. Does it ring a bell?



Feb. 14th, 1975


Dear Chris,

Happy Valentine's Day. I hope this arrives on time. I would hate for you to think I forgot about this special day .I'm sorry I have no gift for you, as I am sure you are aware, but I hope this letter will be enough. I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me. It is thoughts of you and only you which keep me going in this terrible place.

Sometimes, and don't freak out when I say this, when I wake up in my cot to the sound of gunfire and men screaming and shouting, I consider giving up, accepting defeat. I think how it would feel to get a gun in my hand and aim it at my own head. But then your face flashes in front of my eyes. Your beautifully sculpted face, with angel's eyes. And then I see that same face contort into a grimace; I see those eyes fill up with tears. And I feel my heart jump and beat life back into my bones. And I know that I've got to keep going, if just to see you again and to keep you happy.

And did I tell you? There is talk about a pull out. I am sure you have heard that funding is slowly being cut off. But this is still quite sudden. Not one of us expected to get out so early. I think of the civilians we will leave behind, but I must say with all honesty that I couldn't care less. Because in about forty days or so, a helicopter will get us the fuck out of here and I will be able to hold you in my arms again. I'll see you soon, my love.

-Jonathon


In the next letter I sent you, I told you how much that meant to me. But who knows if you ever got it? I doubt it. I don't think it was even delivered to the correct place. So I will tell you again in this one. That letter meant the world to me. Knowing just how much you cared, it filled me with the greatest of joys. And I hope you will be filled with an equal amount of joy when you read my reaction to it.

But once again, I don't expect much. Who knows what kinds of exciting things you do in your daily routine now. Surely it is far more interesting than a pathetic thin man in a ratty old bathrobe, writing to you from his bedroom in the house he shares with no one. I know I promised I'd move on if things turned out like this. I am sorry that it has been nearly a year since that day and yet that promise remains unfulfilled. But after I send this to you, I think I can finally begin to keep it. I just needed to say goodbye.

So here it is. Goodbye Jonathon Buckland. I have always loved you. I love you even as I write this, and I can guarantee that in the future I will feel the same, even after I've moved on. Every day, I stare at your hat and am filled with affection for you. Oh, and I'm sorry, but I threw out the pocket knife. I just couldn't bear to look at it. It reminded me of.....well I'm sure you know. I don't have to tell you what happened do I? I'd rather not dwell on that anyways. Not for another couple of weeks, that is.

But you can be assured that on March 1st I will weep for you. That is nothing new, nor unexpected I'm sure. You must have known it would be like this. I hope you don't feel bad about it, because I don't blame you. It wasn't your fault. I know you tried your hardest. It could have happened to anybody. I'm sure it probably did happen to many others. But that doesn't change how much it hurts, how much I wish I could wrap my arms around you just one more time, or even see your face.

But a letter is what I what I have, and a letter is what I will have to make do with. I hope you can make do with one too. I hope in this measly letter I can express the amount of love I feel for you. And the amount of longing I have deep inside to be with you now. But I will carry on, for your sake. You wouldn't want me to be unhappy. And I am sure you'd rather I didn't join you where you are. I'll abide to your wishes. But be warned, I might just get there eventually. I hope so. Put in a good word for me, eh?

Love, Chris

Chris folded the letter and placed it in an envelope. He smiled complacently down at it. Slowly, he rose from his old wooden desk chair. He leaned down and lightly kissed the hat sitting lazily on the desk's surface. Then he picked up the letter and walked down the hall and to the main room with a purpose.

He stood in front of the fireplace. A fire was already blazing brightly in it, started a few hours before. Chris glanced out the window. It was dusk, and it was snowing. He figured this was a good atmosphere. He looked down once more at the crisp white envelope in his hand. He swallowed, and fixated his gaze on the flames. They would be his messengers tonight.

Slowly, tenderly, he leaned down and reached his hand out towards the fire. But his hand never touched the raging flames, the letter did. Chris watched intently as it blackened and smoldered. Tears came to his eyes as he watched the grey ashes float gently up through the chimney. A successful mailing. Wiping the tears away, he whispered, "Happy Valentine's Day, Jonny."

THE END

Roll Over Beethoven

Chapter 1

Jonny figured he must be very lucky. It is not every day you wander the halls of your college and meet your life long partner, both musically and otherwise. But that is just how it happened for Jonny. His last class had ended over an hour ago. The evening light was becoming more and more scarce and the halls were nearly empty. Jonny, books in hand, was in no hurry. The most he ever did on a Friday night was settle down in his dorm room with a bowl of popcorn and watch movies.

When he heard the first notes drift in from some place further down the endless stretch of hall, he thought it was his imagination going wild. But as he kept walking, the sound grew louder and closer. Soon the chords were practically hitting him in the face, demanding he listen to the sweet sounds they created when played with skilled hands.

Jonny followed the music involuntarily. Like a strong breeze did with leaves, the sounds swept him along until he found himself at a door. Beyond this door, Jonny knew, was the source of the tune that so enticed him. He opened it just a crack, hoping the musician inside wouldn't notice.

He needn't have worried about that. As he peered through the small opening, the man at the piano was in his own world. He sat at the stool, his body arched over the instrument in a beautiful way. His long fingers leapt and skipped about the keys with more grace than a professional dancer could ever manage. Sweat formed on his brow and dripped down his face as he increased his concentration. The chords came out more powerfully every time and struck Jonny with stronger and stronger blows of strikingly beautiful noise.

Standing there, Jonny gaped. His eyes were wide as saucers and his books were slowly slipping out of his grasp. It was all he could to do pull himself away from the breathtaking scene before him. It was fear that finally snapped him out of it. The last thing he wanted this man to know was that he had been watching him. As quietly as he could manage, he slipped away and stumbled down the hall in a daze. He nearly slammed into a teacher on his way, presumably a music teacher, because she entered the room where the man was.

Once she had disappeared behind the door Jonny broke into a sprint and did not stop until he was inside his dorm room. He collapsed onto his couch gasping for breath. He had hoped the running would clear his head. But thoughts of the nameless man at the piano consumed him. And not just for the evening.

The images of the man and the beautiful music he created stayed with Jonny all through the weekend and into the following week. He forgot books, missed classes, and failed tests all because of it. It nagged at him until he could take it no longer, and he knew what he had to do.

He made sure to pass by the same room on the next Friday evening. And the next Friday, and the next one after that. Every time, the man was still there with the piano, compelling it to emit beautiful sounds that Jonny found awe-inspiring at every occasion. It got to such a point that Jonny truly only stayed in college to ensure that he would still hear the man play week after week.

Before long, Jonny had to admit to himself that he loved this unknown man. It was crazy that he should love someone who he'd never met, or even knew by name. But the music the man played and the way that he played told Jonny everything he need to know about him. He was enthusiastic, he was passionate, he was determined.

Often he was unsure of himself and would stop right in the middle and slam his hands down with a horrible clang of keys. But some words of encouragement from the teacher would soon bring him out of his musical stupor and soon tunes would once again flow out like fast moving rivers from underneath his fingertips.

Jonny found himself wishing he could be the person to give the man the encouragement he so frequently required. Eventually, and out of pure good fortune from Jonny's viewpoint, he did get that chance. And it all started with a flyer.


Chapter 2

It was a typical Friday evening for Jonny. He crept quietly down the corridor, peered in cautiously through a small opening in the door and watched the man who had long ago caught his eye play the piano like a true musician. Jonny could sense that the session was coming to a close, and he prepared himself to leave before being discovered.

As he was about to make his escape he noticed the teacher pick up a bright orange flyer from her desk and hand it to Chris. She said some things that he couldn't make out and he nodded. His face was completely expressionless. She pat him on the back and he stood to leave.

Jonny knew he should go be he couldn't make his feet move. His eyes were glued to the piano man. Jonny noticed he was tall, like he was. He completely forgot his original intentions and just stared until the man was at the door and opening it.

Startled back into reality, Jonny tried to make his getaway but knew it was no use. The man had locked his large and beautifully blue eyes with his own. Jonny swallowed nervously and took a step back. The man grinned widely, clearly amused. "So did you enjoy the show?" he asked with a spark of laughter in his eyes.

"Yes....very much," stuttered Jonny in reply.

"Good. Because that was the last," he said with a nod of the head and an impassive tone.

"Wha-what? Why?" Panic consumed him. He could not lose this man and his music.

"My teacher," he nonchalantly replied, gesturing towards the room "thinks I need to move on to bigger and better things. She is crazy. I am just a mediocre pianist, not a professional musician. But she says she won't give me the room anymore. Not unless I enter this."

He pulled out the neon flyer from his pants pocket and held it in front of Jonny's face. In bold letters it read Do YOU have what it takes to be the next great pianist? Then sign up for Roll Over Beethoven, a contest where young musicians will battle it out to earn the title of modern Beethoven!

"Isn't it ridiculous?" he asked.

"No, not at all," replied Jonny with a rush. He was captured by the man's eyes. Courageously he continued on. "I have a confession. I have been coming here to watch and listen to you play for quite a while now." Chris looked completely shocked but didn't say anything. So Jonny kept on going. "I think you are very, very talented. You should enter that contest. I mean, I'm just an observer, but I really think you could win!"

The man looked skeptical, but after some consideration his face lit up. "You really think that?"

Jonny nodded. "Um...well I guess I should be on my way now." He lowered his head to disguise his reddening cheeks. But this man was observant.

"You don't have to be embarrassed. I don't mind knowing that you've been watching me. It's sort of like a compliment if you think about it." He grinned again. Jonny found that more than his music was beguiling. His good-natured attitude was captivating as well, and Jonny couldn't help but smile back.

"Hey, why don't I go back to your place with you? Surely you don't have any plans, or you wouldn't be here every week. And I've got nothing to do either."

Jonny concluded that luck must have been on his side, and he didn't hesitate to allow the man to follow him back to his room. But he did have one condition. "Okay....you can hang out with me. But you have to tell me your name first. I am Jonny."

"Well I'm Chris!" he said gleefully. "Now let's go!"

Jonny had to laugh. This man, who he now knew was named Chris, was so bold. Jonny hoped he could be that way someday.

* * * * * * * * * * *

The two men sat on Jonny's couch. There was a long moment of awkward silence as Chris scanned Jonny's dorm room. His eyes stopped on something hanging from one of the walls. "You have a guitar!?" he exclaimed.

"Um...yeah."

"So can you play or what!?"

"I guess so." He shrugged.

"Play something!" he enthused, his eyes shining.

"I don't know, I'm really not that good."

"Oh no you don't! You've been watching me play for weeks now. Don't you think I deserve to see you play just once?" His mouth transformed into something like a pout and he made a whining noise like a little child. Jonny nearly doubled over with laughter.

"Okay, okay! I will play a little something." He took the guitar down from its place on the wall and held it with care. Nervously, he began to move his fingers about the strings, strumming out chords.

Jonny knew Chris was watching him intently with those lovely eyes of his, but instead of making him apprehensive it encouraged him. He began to play with more ease, and he could hear the notes stretching themselves out, finding room to breathe and spreading throughout the room. He played for several minutes before finally setting the guitar down.

"What song was that?" Chris questioned, looking amazed.

"Um...well I just made that up just now."

"No way man!" Now Chris was truly astounded. "That's just amazing! You've got talent!"

Jonny blushed and lowered his eyes. "Thanks" he whispered. "But I'm really not that great."

"Nonsense! Your playing, it's just given me a great idea for a new piano piece." He winked. "You can hear it next week when you drop by. But Jonny, this time you came open the door all of the way, and come on in." He smiled hugely and headed for the door. "I am going to get back, to work on my new tune. I'll see you next week, friend."


Chapter 3

It was another Friday, another music session, another opportunity for Jonny to be dumbfounded by Chris's talent. But this time he wasn't staring open mouthed from the doorway. He was sitting on one side of the small music room, while Chris played on the other.

He had been earnestly pressing on the keys for nearly ten minutes now. This time, the melody meandered along like an ancient river. Every little twist and turn added a little something new to a tune that Jonny was always sure couldn't get any better. But he was always wrong.

There were a few more minutes of beautiful music and stupefied looks from Jonny, then Chris laid out the last chords underneath his fingers and sat up straight on the stool. He gazed at Jonny nervously and shifted back and forth in his seat. Jonny assumed he was waiting for some sort of response from him. It took him a moment or two to remember how to work his vocal chords, but he finally managed to get the words out.

"Chris.....that was utterly amazing. I don't know what else to say. I'm.....flabbergasted."

"Flabbergasted?" Chris nearly fell off his seat laughing. "You are a funny, funny man Jonny." With effort, he regained his composure. "It's so kind that you will say these things about my music. I know it isn't as good as you say. But thank you anyways."

Jonny stared at Chris a moment, wondering if his head was on straight. "I'm being completely serious." He stared briefly at the floor. "You came up with all of this......from what you heard me play?"

"Yep" responded Chris cheerily. "You are so inspiring Jonny-boy!"

"What did you just call me?" he asked, trying to conceal his laughter.

"Jonny-boy. I thought it sounded cute! Do you mind?"

Jonny rolled his eyes and laughed. "I don't mind. Call me whatever your messed up heart desires."

Chris smiled and stood. His face contorted into an odd expression. Jonny watched him with amusement as he began to pace around the room. He hummed an anxious little tune as he did so. He was completely immersed in his thoughts. After a few minutes he abruptly turned his bright blue eyes to Jonny.

"Jonny, how would you feel about coming here every Friday? I mean I know you already do, but I mean... like....um....sit in here every week, not just at the door? Maybe.....maybe with.....your guitar?"

"My guitar? Why?"

Chris blushed and shuffled his feet. "It seems that I compose a lot better when I hear you play."

Again, Jonny reasoned that Chris was probably wanting some sort of reply from him. But this time he couldn't manage it. He just stared at him until Chris became nervous watching him and rattled off some more words. "I mean, I know that's probably like really, really weird and all, but it's true. It is definitely true. As soon as you started playing, these ideas just rushed to my head, and I couldn't wait to get them out. It was the strangest thing that's ever happened to me. But in a good way, not a bad way. If that makes any sense."

"Chris," Jonny finally said, nearly laughing, "it's okay. I don't think that's weird. What you said did make sense. I just have a hard time believing it. I never thought what I played was anything special. But I am completely flattered that you think so. And I would like very much to play my guitar here every Friday, if that is what will allow me to hear something as breathtaking as what you played tonight."

"Good. Then it's a date," he replied with a chuckle. Jonny's heart skipped a beat. It would be lovely for him if it really were. But there was no way he was going to push his luck. No, he would be content with being friends. It was already more than he had ever hoped for.


Chapter 4

The next Friday Jonny rushed to his dorm directly after his final class, instead of lingering behind. He nearly had about a dozen or so serious accidents on the way there. But he somehow remained unscathed as he entered his room, breathing heavily. He gingerly removed his guitar from its spot on the wall and rushed back to the music room as quickly as he could without risking harm befalling to the instrument.

Despite his hurried pace, Chris was already in the room when he got there and looked as though he had been for some time now. He was concentrating heavily on his playing, and Jonny could see that a few drops of sweat had begun to form on his brow. It didn't appear that he was even aware of Jonny's arrival.

Jonny didn't mind the lack of recognition. He just stood there watching, waiting, and enjoying the show. The minutes ticked by, and eventually Chris did look up from the keys to give Jonny a lopsided smile. "Sorry, I was waiting for you to say something." Apparently he had recognized Jonny's presence.

"Oh....sorry." Jonny returned the smile as best as he could. "How long have you been here?"

"A while," he replied with a guilty smile. "I got this tune in my head, and I couldn't let it slip away." He frowned at the piano. "But I'm not quite sure where to go with it now. So I'm glad you're here."

Jonny worried Chris might be tiring of his use of smiles as responses, but he just couldn't find the right words. So he smiled yet again and sat down in a stool on the other side of the room. He positioned his guitar in his arms and hesitantly began to play a string of chords. The sounds sounded weak at first, but as Jonny's confidence in himself grew, so did the strength of what he played. Soon he fell into a kind of trance, fingering out a pattern of chords that pleased him and which gave off a certain air of confidence that could not be ignored by any listener.

Chris watched him intently. He studied his finger movements and the expressions Jonny made while he played. He nodded as if giving approval, and after a few minutes his eyes grew suddenly wider. He bent down and began to vigorously press on the black and white keys. The two instruments played together sounded a bit off at first, but before long the piano and the guitar were perfectly in sync with each other. Emerging from the two men was a medley that would make even the harshest music critics stop and listen. For nearly an hour they sat at or with their respective instruments, collaborating their talents.

They both somehow knew the exact place to end, and their last chords echoed out unanimously and beautifully. Then they turned to each other, a pair of blue eyes and a pair of green ones, both expressing awe and wonder at the other. Chris was the first one to speak.

"Wow," he said, "it's like we're soul mates or something!"

He laughed at his own joke and Jonny couldn't help but join in, even though a large part of him wished Chris had been serious. Because that is what he truly believed. After playing with Chris today, Jonny was positive that he and Chris were meant to be together despite how silly it sounded. He had never been one to believe in such things as fate, and he supposed that he still didn't, not really. But he felt like Chris was definitely the person he should spend the rest of his life with in some way, even if not in a way that Jonny found ideal.

Jonny was abruptly pulled away from his musings when Chris magically teleported in front of him, a ridiculous smile on his face. "I am so glad that I suggested this," he remarked. "I have never felt so inspired before!"

"That is good," Jonny responded shyly. "I was inspired by you too. You know, I had hardly ever picked up my guitar for a long time before you came to hang out. But once you did, and got me to start playing, I haven't wanted to stop since. In a way it's scary. But I am glad it's like this now."

Jonny accepted that this was likely as close as he would ever get to giving a love confession. He reminded himself that he didn't need that to be happy. As long as he could be around Chris in some way, in some sort of a relationship, even if only one between friends, than that was fine with him.

But as Chris's eyes lit up in reply to Jonny's words and Jonny caught his gaze, there was a part of him that denied this. He wondered if he truly could live his whole life remaining just friends with this man, who had become a part of his life as quickly as a spark is thrown from a raging fire and who was far more incredible than the colorful light it produced.


Chapter 5

A pattern quickly developed between them. A long jam session would ensue every Friday evening. A short chat with an exchange of laughs and smiles would follow, and then the two men would go their separate ways until next week. Both parties were fully content with this arrangement.

Actually, both Jonny and Chris were more than content. They were happy. Jonny felt elated whenever he was around Chris, and there was not a doubt in his mind that this was love. The entirety of the week would drag on and on until finally the horrible tension was relieved by an hour or so of melding his guitar together with Chris's piano.

Chris felt similar things about Jonny. But he associated it with a close bond of friendship, rather than something more. Jonny was fully aware of this, and he carried on as best as he could with that fact constantly hanging above his head.

The tradition carried on for five weeks in very much the same way. But on the sixth week, things went a little differently. On Thursday, Jonny had a bit more time that he usually did between classes, so he ambled down the halls slowly. He passed by a large activity board completely covered in papers. He wouldn't have given it more than a passing glance if it wasn't for one neon orange paper that stuck out among hundreds of white ones.

At first look, Jonny thought it was the same paper that Chris had shown him weeks ago. But it was slightly different. This one had a bunch of lines at the bottom, presumably for people's signatures. Jonny scrolled through the list of participants, all with various styles of handwriting. As he reached the last of the names, he frowned. Chris's name was nowhere on the list. Jonny couldn't believe he hadn't signed up yet. He clenched his jaw and continued down the hall, determined that tomorrow he would get Chris to enter the contest.

And now here they were on Friday, just looking at each other. Chris had played for a bit, but had soon realized that Jonny wasn't playing along with him. Instead, he had just been sitting there, staring. So Chris stared back, not out of irritation but out of confusion. After many minutes of awkward silence Jonny at last decided on the best thing to say.

"Chris, I saw another flyer for that contest. I looked at all of the people who were signed up for it; you weren't one of them. Why?"

Chris laughed nervously, trying to make light of the situation. He had never seen Jonny like this before and didn't know how to react. "I told you, I'm not good enough for that thing."

"But...but I thought you entered it," Jonny said stupidly. "Didn't your music teacher say that she wasn't going to give you the room anymore unless you entered?"

"Yeah, haven't you noticed that she hasn't been around? She just doesn't know I still come here I guess." His face lit up. "But that doesn't matter, because I have you now!"

"So.....I'm just the teacher's replacement then?" Chris didn't pick up on Jonny's increasingly agitated tone.

"Sort of," he replied cheerily.

"So I suppose you can find another replacement easily," he responded coldly.

Chris finally caught the edge to Jonny's tone. His eyes grew wide. "Wait what? No Jonny I didn't mean it like that!"

"It sounded an awful lot like you did," he mumbled, disconcerted.

"No," he said quietly. "Jonny, no one could replace you. No music teacher could inspire me like you do."

"Thank you," Jonny replied just as quietly. "But Chris, I think there are some things we need to talk about."

Chris shifted his eyes about the room nervously. He tapped his fingers on the piano's top. He swung his feet back and forth over the stool. He did not like the sound of this. He was horribly afraid that he might lose Jonny forever.

Trying to lighten his tone, Jonny added , "Why don't we go out somewhere for some dinner? We can talk then. Besides, we've never done anything together away from this jail of a place before. I think it's time to take the next step up as friends." He smiled and tried to laugh. It sounded awful to his own ears, but Chris seemed to find it uplifting. He returned Jonny's smile with a much larger one and stood immediately.

"I know a really great place we can go. Well at least it looks great whenever I pass by it. I've never actually been inside it before." He rubbed the back of his head and his face turned red. "Truthfully, you're the only on-campus friend I have. And I didn't have any close friends before college either."

"Neither did I."



Chapter 6

The table was small, the chairs were small, the portions were small, the entire establishment was small. But it was small in a good way. It had a cozy feel to it. It was the kind of place that drew people in. As a result, the restaurant was packed with people. This made it seem even smaller. Chris didn't mind this at all, he actually enjoyed all of the people. Jonny, on the other hand, was very uncomfortable.

He shifted in his seat and the closeness of the situation made him terrified to make eye contact with Chris. He was starting to think that this had been a bad idea. But there was no going back now. Besides, he knew that Chris needed to hear this. He cleared his throat and Chris looked at him expectantly and with a certain amount of apprehension.

"Chris, you need to hear something. But more importantly, you need to believe it when you hear it. You are an absolutely amazing pianist. Your talent is almost beyond actual words. Every time you sit down and play, you take my breath away. And I am sure that other people would have the same reaction. That is why you are going to enter that contest. As your friend, I can't let you waste this opportunity."

"That's very kind of you Jonny. But I know me, I know how I am. At most, I am marginally above average. The others who have signed up are professional musicians and true musical prodigies. There's no point in fighting a losing battle." He shrugged as if to say the discussion was closed. But Jonny would not, could not, except that. He was unwavering in his belief that Chris was highly skilled and had the potential to accomplish great things in the music world. Jonny felt this contest could be the first step towards a musical career for Chris.

He leaned in close to Chris's face until their noses were almost touching. "Listen here Chris," he said between clenched teeth. You are just s good as all of those other people and probably better. This is a great opportunity for you! You really could make music your career! I know how much you love it. And I know you would be ecstatic if you got to play music for a living,. You would be playing all of the time, and that would make you incredibly happy. Which would, in return, make me incredibly happy. So please do this, at least for me. Please leave that cramped and sweat inducing old music room behind and move on to something better. Because you are worth it."

Chris was speechless. Jonny almost let a smug smile sneak onto his face. He knew he had won. His words had impacted Chris deeply, and it showed. For there was hardly ever a time where Chris wasn't speaking, with the exception of his time at the piano. But finally, the man managed to utter a response, although weakly.

"Wow," he mumbled, sounding slightly disoriented. "That's...wow." Jonny chuckled. It was quite nice to see that he wasn't the only one who had problems finding the right words. "Jonny.....just....I don't even know. Thank you. Thank you so much."

Jonny was taken aback when he looked to Chris with the intention of smiling in his direction, and noticed that Chris's eyes were becoming wet. Chris noticed the shocked expression on Jonny's face and quickly apologized. "Sorry, sorry. I know I'm being such a little boy right now. But nobody has ever given me that many compliments in my entire lifetime and you gave them all in one conversation."

Jonny crossed his arms and nodded. "You're welcome. You deserve them."

Chris narrowed his eyes at Jonny, scrutinizing him. "And you seriously think I should participate in this competition?"

Jonny tried not to roll his eyes, he really did. He used every bit of his willpower. But this man was just so incorrigible that the ceiling was suddenly the most interesting architectural specimen there was. "Christopher Martin, haven't I made myself clear to you yet? I don't think you should participate, I know you should."

"Jonny, will you stand up for a second please," asked Chris, as he stood himself.

"Um....sure?" He stood hesitantly. Suddenly, he was being embraced by two long, well toned arms. His eyes widened and he almost gasped out loud. He felt his heart speed up and prayed that nobody could hear it pounding. After a few seconds of an experience that was both pure torture and pure heaven at the same time, Chris finally released his grip and sat back down.

"Jonny-boy, I will. I will sign up for the competition. BUT," he added, pointing one long index finger in Jonny's face, "I have one condition."

Jonny folded his hands on the table and playfully responded "State your terms."

"You have to help me practice. And you have to be there when I perform."

"Technically those were two conditions. But then again, they are hardly conditions at all. They are more like givens. Of course I will."



Chapter 7

There were two weeks until the competition. Jonny was sure that Chris could walk into the contest with absolutely no additional practice and still win easily. But Jonny was not Chris. And Chris was a compulsive worrier.

They were back from the restaurant and were now lounging on Jonny's battered old dorm couch. Well, Chris had been lounging at least. Now he was on the edge of the dated piece of furniture looking ready to jump up and sprint down the hall at any moment. His legs were bouncing up and down like mad and he drummed his hands on his knees. His face was contorted oddly and his breathing was uneven.

"Chris settle down you're going to give yourself a heart attack," Jonny replied casually, accustomed by now to Chris's anxiety attacks.

"I'm sorry Jonny, but I can't help it! Two Friday evenings is not going to be enough practice for me! I need more time!" His voice cracked and his words sounded more like screeches. Jonny expertly concealed his grin.

"You will be just fine. You are already as close to perfect as it gets."

Chris scoffed at him. "Hardly."

"Well if you really think you are so terrible, then why don't you practice more? There's a whole two weeks before the competition. Just ask your music teacher if you can use the room every evening for a while. I'm sure she'll approve, now that you are planning on entering."

Chris sprung onto his feet. "Oh you're right!" he started for the door.

"Chris, what are you doing? It's almost midnight. Wait until tomorrow."

“Oh...yeah." He laughed nervously and sat back down. He threw an anxious gaze at Jonny. "Jon...I can't do this." Jonny looked up, seriously worried about the state of Chris's mind. "At least, not without you."

Relieved, Jonny relaxed his expression. "Oh don't worry about that. I will be there every day, guitar in hand. As long as you want me there, I will be."

"Thanks Jonny. You are the most amazing friend a guy could ask for.” He leaned in and for a split second Jonny expected him to brush his lips against his own. But instead he reached out his arm and tousled his hair playfully. "It's getting late. I should be heading out. See you...wow, tomorrow I guess." He laughed excitedly and gracelessly left the tiny place. Jonny stared after him with a renewed longing. This was becoming harder and harder to manage, and it scared him. He rolled onto his stomach and put a pillow over his head. It didn't help. No surprises there.


The next evenings leading up to the competition went as usual. Jonny would walk in to Chris already playing. Sometimes Chris would stop, look up, and smile at him. But sometimes he would be too lost in the music to even notice his arrival until Jonny began to strum his own instrument. Then Chris was sure to stop playing. He would stare at Jonny intently until something clicked inside of him and he would begin laying out a new tune which Jonny would instantaneously fall in love with. He was more than willing to express those feelings on any occasion he got, which in turn created a positive reaction in Chris and spurred him on further.

Jonny realized that he and Chris were the perfect musical team. He wondered if Chris had drawn the same conclusion about their music. It was the most he could ever hope from Chris. He was certainly never going to reach any conclusions about Jonny’s feelings towards Chris himself. This was certainly depressing, but Jonny did his best as he always did not to think about it.

Unfortunately, two days before the competition Jonny did think about it. He couldn’t help it. The music Chris had been creating that day was exceptionally lovely, as was Chris himself. He had just gotten himself a haircut and his curls no longer sprang out wildly but were now smaller and more tamed. The day was sunny and bright and even though it was evening no lighting was needed except what came in through the windows. Whenever Chris would look up at Jonny his eyes would catch the light and Jonny’s fingers would falter on the strings, creating a not so pleasant sound.

After a while Chris stopped playing altogether and turned to Jonny with a concerned frown. “Are you okay Jonny? You haven’t been playing the way you usually do.”

Jonny was disgusted with himself. He shouldn’t have a problem with how things were between him and Chris. He stared at his guitar for a long moment. “I think I am done for tonight,” he said slowly.

“Okay” Chris replied meekly. But Jonny could see the question in his eyes. What’s wrong with you? But he knew Chris would never ask it. So he decided to free Chris from his anxiety and provide an answer, although not a truthful one.

“I’m tired. I am going to go home early and get some rest.”

Chris nodded and Jonny left with his head hanging in guilt. He didn’t want to lie to Chris, not anymore. But he needed to take some time to decide whether or not to tell the truth. All this time he had thought the truth was not the way to go, but now he wasn’t so sure.



Chapter 8

It had been a long and grueling night. Jonny would have liked for it to involve some actual sleeping. But you can’t always get what you want. Instead, it was a night filled with thousands of thoughts. Almost all of them reeked of indecisiveness, much to Jonny’s distress. But as the first rays of sunlight broke through on the horizon, a single thought entered his mind that brought on a string of decisive ones.

It was a factual statement. He loved Chris. Quickly, another thought followed, then another. He wanted to spend his life with Chris. And he wanted Chris to know that too. The only way to achieve this? Tell Chris how he felt. He sat up abruptly, his eyes wide and a smile slowly making its way across his features. He realized there was no other option. There was only one decision that would allow this to happen. He was going to tell Chris how he felt.

* * * * * * * * * * *

By the time he reached the music room that night he regretted wearing a jacket. He was sweating uncontrollably, not because it was warm but because he was so nervous. But now he couldn’t remove the jacket or else the embarrassing stains on his shirt would be visible. Instead he took a couple deep breaths and cautiously made his way inside.

He crept over to his place in the corner and readied his guitar with sweaty hands. He was sure that Chris would notice that he was acting out of character. But luckily Chris was too concentrated on his music this particular day. It was one of those days where an earthquake could have rocked the building and Chris wouldn’t even glance up from the piano.

Jonny raised nervous fingers to the guitar strings and hesitantly began to play. He winced as he heard the way the chords sounded from beneath his fingertips. It sounded off. Surely Chris would notice that. It took a few minutes, but Chris did notice. He stopped, lifted his head up slowly, and turned to face Jonny with large, questioning blue eyes. This should have made Jonny even more anxious, but he felt his spirits lift a little. Those eyes were so kind; they never judged, just wondered. Curiosity was just human nature; Jonny couldn’t blame him for that.

He wanted to speak right away; tell Chris any and all of his feelings towards him, but his mouth seemed to be paralyzed. Instead he sat there and pathetically waited for Chris to say something. It didn’t take long. Curiosity invokes impatience in the typical person.

“Jonny, is there something bothering you? I know it’s not really my place, but you still seem to be acting strangely. It worries me.”

“Well I still haven’t had a good night’s sleep if that’s what you mean.” He managed to regain the use of the muscles controlling his mouth. But unfortunately, he couldn’t seem to be able to tell them what to make him say. Words just came out with little or no warning. He set his guitar down. Attempting to play any longer tonight was a waste of time.

Chris frowned. “That’s a shame. I don’t like it when you are like this.” His expression turned sympathetic. “I haven’t been sleeping much either. I’m dreadfully worried about this competition. It’s tomorrow! I don’t think I am ready.”

“Chris, you were born ready.”

Chris smiled appreciatively, showing his crooked British teeth. “Thank you Jonny. I don’t know what I would do without you.” He thought for a moment. “I believe a hug is in order,” he chirped, even as the words escaped his lips he was on the other side of the room, his arms wrapped tightly around Jonny’s torso. Jonny shifted uncomfortably but tried his best to return the gesture. As Chris leaned loosened his grip and began to back away, he whispered into Jonny’s ear.

“Jon, I need to hear more. Give me some more words that I can pump myself up to. I could use a good morale boost,” he admitted with remorse.

Jonny smiled. Chris was the most interesting character he had ever had the pleasure of meeting. He spent a long moment in deep thought. Chris would probably have been happy with just about anything. But he wouldn’t. He realized that this was an opportunity he shouldn’t waste. Now was the time. He gripped his chair tightly.

“Chris, you will do an amazing job, because you are an amazing pianist. I can’t imagine anyone outshining you at that competition. But no matter what happens, remember that….”

“What?” Chris asked immediately after the pause, giving Jonny no time to doubt himself.

“Just…..know that I love you.”

Chris stared at him blankly. For once it was he who was at a loss for words.

“Well don’t just stand there,” Jonny mumbled. “What do you have to say about that?”

“About you…..loving me?” Chris asked, rhetorically.

Jonny responded despite Chris’s tone. “Yes.” He looked Chris straight in the eye. There was no going back now.

Suddenly a fire was lit in Chris’s eyes. “I was wrong! I don’t need you!” Chris had no idea where those words came from, but there they were, on display for all those near to hear. Jonny couldn’t move. But who could, after getting stabbed in the heart.

“This is all wrong! You can like me, sure, but love me? No!”

“But what’s not to love?” Jonny asked quietly. “Chris, I am not one to believe in love at first sight but I could swear that from the first time I laid eyes on you I knew who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I thought…..hoped…..you might feel the same.”

“No, just no Jonny.”

“Well some of the things you say prove otherwise! Have you ever even thought about it?”

“Of course not,” he retorted. There was disgust in his tone. There was a dreadfully long silence. “Listen, you can either come tomorrow and support me as my friend, or don’t come at all.”

“You really mean that?” Jonny asked with a hint of disbelief.

“Like I said, I don’t need you.” And with that last sentence hanging in the air like wet clothes hang on a line, Chris turned and exited the room, leaving Jonny to slowly fall apart at the seams.



Chapter 9

Jonny never knew what it felt like to be numb until that moment. He walked to his dorm with a zombie-like motion. He didn’t feel the crisp nighttime breeze on his face or notice the people passing him by, some of which he inadvertently collided with. As soon as he turned the knob and opened the creaky door to the room he collapsed onto the couch and reached for the t.v. remote. He pressed some buttons blindly and managed to turn the television on. He didn’t notice nor care what channel it was turned to and simply forced his eyes to stare at the flickering screen for some hours until a commercial came on that involved piano music. He turned it off immediately and flung the remote across the room. It made a satisfying sound as it hit the hollow wall. Tears began to form in his eyes. He held most of them back but let a few fall to the dulled upholstery of the couch. It felt good to stain it with a few tears. This was the same couch Chris had sat on. It deserved nothing better.

Jonny curled up on the couch with his knees to his chin. He was fully prepared for a miserable and sleepless night. But to his mild surprise, it wasn't long before he felt the familiar feeling of exhaustion sweep over him. He supposed this was the result of so many strong emotions in so short of a time. He was more than willing to give in to the fatigue. Anything was better than a long bleak night spent thinking of Chris.

It was, however, quite naive of him to believe that thoughts of Chris would end in sleep. Dreams are often as powerful as conscious thoughts. And that night he dreamed of Chris incessantly. Although he didn't realize it at the time, for one can only truly ponder a dream after waking, all of his dreaming had been positive. It seemed his subconscious had nothing but good things to say about Chris, despite his recent actions.

This realization flashed into his mind just moments after he blearily opened his eyes. In a few second's time the memories of his dreams replayed themselves like an old movie reel. They came in bits and pieces but could easily be grouped together. Eyes a sparkling blue like the clearest lakes, a smile that was brighter than the light of the sun at noon. What it felt like to be around him and to hear him laugh in that nervous way of his.

But the parts of visions that stuck out he most were those of an elegant, beautiful figure, perfectly poised at the stool of a piano and producing the most gorgeous sounds in all the world. Jonny almost gasped aloud as he recalled the clarity of which he heard the music in his sleep. Reality hit him like a rock then. he was never going to hear those sounds again. Not if things continued on this way. He rubbed his face and sat up slowly. His still tired eyes made their way lazily around the room. Everywhere they landed there was the image of Chris at that piano.

Jonny stood up, perhaps a bit too quickly, seeing how he nearly fell over due to the disorientation that mornings often brought. But he couldn't have cared less about that. A decision had been made in the mind of Jonny Buckland. No matter how much it hurt him, he would remain mere friends with Chris. Because that pain was nothing to the pain he experienced when he considered the alternative option of ending all contact with him.

Later that evening, he glanced at himself in the mirror. Everything appeared to be in order. His hair was fine, it was too short to do much with. His face was clean shaven and he thought he looked alright for someone as weary as he was. He tired out a small smile. It was weak, but it would do. Shrugging into his jacket, he made his way out into the chilly evening air.

The small pub wasn't far at all, only a couple of blocks. Jonny reached it much sooner than he had planned. He stopped in front of it briefly, his hands shaking with nervousness. He didn't have anything o be nervous about. But to calm his overactive nerves he started walking again, passing the building and rounding the corner.

There was still time before the competition began. And he didn't think it would make a difference if he was a little late or not. It's not as if Chris was expecting him to show. But wandering down the road, he found, made him even more anxious. He really didn't want to miss hearing Chris play. He felt an almost fatherly sense of pride just thinking about the way he knew Chris could outshine the competition. He turned abruptly around and marched back to the pub, nearly knocking over another pedestrian in the process. No matter if he was Chris's friend or his lover, he was going to cheer him on and shower him with support.



Chapter 10

There were a number of notable things at the quaint little pub that was housing the contest. There was a bar, quite obviously, and there were people sitting at it, all in various stages of intoxication. Also included was a collection of a few old chairs and round tables. People sat in them as well. These people were here for the entertainment rather than the drinks, although most of them did have one or two. Among those desiring to be entertained was a young man with light green eyes and an encouraging smile.

A few of those sitting actually were the entertainment. They all sat in quiet anticipation of their chance to shine as musical artists. Inside they were all nervous, but none of those emotions were expressed outwardly-with one exception. One of those chairs was occupied by a bundle of nerves. In that chair there was an excessive amount of fidgeting, and a good deal of sweating too. The blue eyed man occupying that particular chair was a nervous wreck.

As little amount of square footage as there was, a little area in the back was clear of tables and people. Instead of those things, there was a shiny black piano. It looked funny and out of place sitting on an old wooden floor of an even older pub. It was certainly the most elegant thing in the room. It captured the eyes of the small audience and would surely draw even further attention to itself when it was played. Not long after Jonny entered the place, this proved true.

A man with slick black hair and tattoos lining his well muscled arms stood at the space near the piano. He appeared to be the owner. He cleared his throat to signal the beginning of the competition. He spoke for some time about rules and the way the judging would be conducted. The winner would be determined only by the audience’s reaction. The prize, five hundred dollars, would go to the person whose performance produced the loudest cheers. Finally, the man read off from a list the order the musicians would play in. Chris was called last, number nine.

The first competitor stood then and walked calmly up to the piano. There was deportment in the way he sat, and he immediately began to play a lively tune on the keys. The audience eagerly showed its approval. Jonny and Chris both shook their heads. Chris was sure that he would not be as good as the rest. Jonny was sure Chris would be better.

Every performance strengthened their feelings. Even as Chris’s confidence withered, Jonny’s confidence in him grew. When contestant number eight stepped away from the piano to the sound of hearty applause, Jonny’s eyes lit up. Chris felt like he might pass out. He stood on shaky legs and clumsily made his way to the piano.

The room was dead silent. Compared to those who went before him, Chris looked slightly out of place. In his plain blue t-shirt, loose fitting pants, and wild hair that was badly in need of a trim, he hardly looked like a skilled pianist. But the way that he played proved he played proved that looks are certainly an irrelevant factor in judging musical prowess.

Jonny instantly recognized the tune. It was the small bit that Chris had played on the first evening Jonny had played with Chris. About a minute into it, there was a sudden silence. Jonny frowned. Chris had stopped playing and was staring blankly at the keys. His fingers were still poised above them. The silence was obtrusive and rude. Everybody in the audience felt it. Chris quickly glanced up and Jonny could see the panic in his eyes. He quickly scanned the crowd. He was looking for someone.

After a few moments of torturous silence his roving eyes finally became fixed to one spot. At first Jonny wondered what Chris could be looking at. Then he realized that those deep blue eyes were looking directly at him. His stomach flipped and he gave an encouraging smile without thinking twice about it. It was just like all those evenings in the music room. A spark ignited in Chris’s eyes. He swiftly brought his fingers back down to the keys and continued to play.

A soundless sigh spread through the room. Chris became totally immersed in his music. Jonny became totally immersed in watching Chris. He was swimming in a sea of beautiful sounds. As Chris dove deeper into the song, Jonny recognized all of it. He heard the separate tunes that Chris had played for him all together in a perfect, harmonious union.

A strange childlike giddiness filled him as he made the connection. All of those tunes had just been a small part of the whole thing. He was experiencing the completed work for the first time. The artist’s finished piece. Jonny had no words to describe it. So when it was finished, he opted to simply give a standing ovation instead.

At first he was the only idiot standing among about one hundred people. In a few seconds there were about a hundred others standing with him, clapping and cheering. A few even wiped tears from their eyes. Jonny grinned widely. The black haired man was next to the piano and the stunned Chris in one fluid motion. Patting him on the back, he proclaimed him the clear winner. Chris’s eyes widened to twice their usual size. He uttered a long string of thank yous. But his eyes searched the crowd. He pinpointed Jonny and quickly made his way over to him.

Jonny smiled widely at him. “Congratulations! I knew you could do it Chris, I told you that you could.”

“Thank you.” Chris tried to smile back. But guilt wouldn’t allow him to truly enjoy his victory. “Jonny……follow me. I have some things I need to say.” He grabbed Jonny by the arm and pulled him to a door that Jonny hadn’t noticed before.



Chapter 11

Chris opened the door in a hurry and forcibly pulled Jonny inside. He finally let go of Jonny’s arm to feel around in the dark for a light switch. He finally felt a thin cord and he pulled it. A single light bulb produced a yellowish glow. It was weak, but it was enough to make the room visible. There were some shelves and boxes caked in dust. It was obviously a storage room that hadn’t been occupied by another person in quite some time.

It was stuffy and warm in the small space, and Jonny was already feeling heated from both the shock and thrill of Chris’s hand on his arm. He took a deep breath, although it didn’t help much, and leaned against a wall. He considered saying something along the lines of “what’s going on?” to Chris but decided he would allow Chris to speak first. It was his idea to come here after all.

Chris inhaled deeply to prepare to speak. But instead of words all that came out of his mouth was a lot of coughing. Clearly he hadn’t expected the room to be so dusty and the air to be so stale. When his fit was over he just looked at Jonny a moment to recollect his thoughts. Jonny looked back at him and they both ended up laughing. This continued until Chris realized that the sound might be audible to the outside world. He quickly pursed his lips and forced a serious expression to extend across his face. Jonny did the same.

In a whisper, Chris finally articulated his thoughts. “Jonny, I am sorry. I was wrong.”

“Don’t worry Chris, it’s okay. I can understand your reaction. That was a lot for a person to take in so quickly, especially when that person doesn’t return the feelings.”

Chris shook his head. “Don’t misunderstand me. I am sorry for the way I reacted, but I did not react that way for the reason you think. I was just taken by surprise. I didn’t know how to handle someone..…loving me. No one has ever loved me that way before, at least not to my knowledge. I didn’t know what to do.” He heaved a frustrated sigh and rubbed his face. “I’m so sorry. I was horrible to you.”

“I forgive you,” Jonny responded immediately. He didn’t even give it a second thought. He knew that Chris was not the type of person to do cruel things just for the sake of being cruel. Sure, it had hurt worse than any physical pain he had ever felt to hear Chris say those things, but somehow this was now easy to overlook. He supposed that was what love did to a person. It made them forget the bad completely and focus on the good.

“Listen,” Chris said morosely, “you don’t have to forgive me. You shouldn’t, really. I don’t deserve it. You should have better than me.” He quickly averted his eyes from Jonny’s gaze. But not soon enough for Jonny to miss the tears that were beginning to build behind them.

“Hey,” Jonny said softly. Chris looked up hesitantly. “Don’t cry Chris, I can’t handle that.” Chris sniffed and his eyes began to dry. “You’ve got to know something. No matter what you say, no matter what you do, I will always forgive you for it. Because I love you.”

Chris’s mouth formed a shocked little "o'". “Still?” he whispered, in disbelief.

“Of course. How could I ever stop? You’re the only person I ever want to be with.”

“Oh,” Chris replied. His voice was shaky and weak. “That…that makes me very glad Jonny.” He shuffled his feet and rubbed his hands together. “I have been doing some thinking. I think I feel the same way.”

Now it was Jonny’s turned to look shocked. He felt a warm feeling begin to rise from somewhere deep within him. Pure ecstasy, just from those few words. But he couldn’t help asking the obvious question. “You think?”

Chris knit his brows together and thought about it seriously. “Tonight when I got up to play my piece, I was so nervous. More nervous than I’ve ever been in my life. I kept wishing….that you were there. I wanted to kick myself for saying those things to you. As I’m sure you saw, I had to stop only a little ways into the song. I couldn’t do it without you. So I scanned the crowd with futile hope, wishing I would see your green eyes and your encouraging smile. Truthfully, I was ready to stand up and walk out if I didn’t see your face. But then the impossible happened. You were sitting there cheering me on with your eyes, with your smile. I felt a rush of courage and immediately begun to play again, as you saw. And then I knew.”

“Knew?”

“Yes, when I think it over again I am sure of it now. Jonny, I love you.” As he spoke those last words he moved in closer to Jonny. His hands resting on the wall behind Jonny, he kissed him ardently. Jonny gasped. Chris hesitated for a moment, but Jonny pulled him closer, showing that he welcomed the display of affection. He moaned with pleasure as Chris’s tongue entered his mouth. But then he gently pushed him away.

“We should probably leave,” he said with a laugh. “We could go back to my place, if you want. We don’t have to do anything more. We could just talk or something.”

Chris nodded his approval. “Okay”.

* * * * * * * * * * *

The two men were lounged on the couch, surrounded in darkness. The ending credits of the movie they had been watching moved across the flickering television screen. Jonny turned it off. Chris turned to look at Jonny. All he could see of him were his brightly colored eyes and his silhouette.

“Tonight was fun,” he said. “I had a great time.” Jonny opened his mouth to speak but sensed that Chris had something else to say, so he waited. Chris cleared his throat. “It was fun….but I think it could be….more fun, if you know what I mean.” His voice was husky and deeper than usual. Jonny could see the desire in his eyes. His own eyes reflected the same desires.

“Okay. I can think of some other fun things we could do,” he said slyly.

“Oh?” questioned Chris, raising his eyebrows in a seductive manner that he hoped Jonny could see.

“Yes.”

“Show me.”

“Okay,” he said seductively. “Roll over, Beethoven.”



THE END