Mirrorball

Chapter 1

It was another busy day. The emergency room was chaotic, especially now that it was summer. Nurses ran around, tending to the needs of the demanding patients. Most of them had injuries and illnesses that could be considered minor. A broken leg here, a low grade fever there. Work in an emergency room for one day, and you will be aware of a human's expert ability to exaggerate.

Jonny knew what to expect when he volunteered to help out that day. Although he was now the head doctor of traumatic injuries, he had once been an average staff member working in the emergency room twelve hours a day, back when he was still in college. He still worked up to twelve hours a day sometimes, but he found his new position to be considerably less stressful.

He was well-liked at the hospital. People respected him for his kind demeanor. When the hospital was short on staff, he would always be the first to volunteer to cover another position. He understood the tension that all of the workers in the ER faced, and was glad to give them a break when he could. Secretly, he actually enjoyed working the ER. Sure the people there were generally just crazy, but they were interesting.

Although he was rarely stressed at his current position, he was often bored. Trauma was not a very captivating field, if you were to ask Jonny. He would much rather examine people's heads the way a psychiatrist would, instead of the way doctors did.

But no one else knew this. To them, he was just the pleasant doctor with a gentle smile who was willing to lend a hand where it was needed. They had no idea that the things he did were for selfish purposes. Jonny was just searching for something to intrigue him during his long hours of monotony. And these were still his goals when he was working in the ER on a brutally hot day in summer, and he came across a certain patient who sparked his interest.

He came into the emergency room the correct way, through the two large doors in the back, on a gurney being wheeled in frantically by three paramedics. He looked pretty bad, even for the ER, especially in the area above his neck. Blood dripped down from his nose and made its way down and around his mouth. Some had dried there already and formed a crusty outline around his lips.

One of his eyes was basically swollen shut, leaving only a small slit where the actual eye could become visible. He had a few cuts on bruises on his forehead and chin, but those were minor. The biggest problem came from a deep gash above his left ear. The paramedics had covered it with a temporary bandage. But Jonny knew the wound must be deep, because a good deal of blood had already seeped through the white dressings, leaving them stained a deep red.

Jonny couldn't even begin to imagine what this man had gotten himself into. But he did know that this was the kind of person he was specifically trained to treat. He needed a trauma doctor, and he needed one now. Jonny hurried over to the paramedics to get a hold on the situation. He was shocked by what he heard.

Apparently, this man had gotten these fairly severe injuries from falling down two flights of stairs. Jonny decided he wasn't shocked by this. He was completely disbelieving. He did not see how someone could simply fall down two flights of stairs. Surely no one could be that uncoordinated.

Jonny came to the only reasonable conclusion one could come to after working in the ER for so long. This man must be seeking attention. Nobody could fall down that many stairs by accident. Even done on purpose, it was a little extreme. Jonny whispered a question into the ear of one of the paramedics.

"Does he have Munchausen's?" The paramedic just shrugged. Jonny was sure that he must. But he let the matter drop for now. Either way, this man needed an immediate examination. "I'll take it from here," Jonny said. The paramedics nodded and quickly made their way back to the ambulance outside.

Jonny beckoned to a few of the nurses. "Get this one to room 420B right away. He needs an MRI immediately."

"Yes doctor," the nurses replied in unison, and hurried off with the gurney.

The scan itself only took a few minutes, but the results would take much longer. The nurses set the man up in an intensive care room, where he could be closely monitored at all times. Now it was time for Jonny's real duties to begin. He briskly entered the room to examine the man's head. The man moved his eye towards the sudden movement. He was responsive. That was a good thing.

Jonny gently laid his fingers on the bloodied bandage. The man winced. "I am sorry," Jonny said. "But I must get a good look at it." The man didn't put up any sort of fuss though, and allowed Jonny to remove the bandages. Jonny stared at the wound intently.

"This is a pretty deep gash you have here. How did you manage this?"

"I.....fell," he said. He sounded absolutely humiliated by the fact. But he also said it with a certain amount of nonchalance, like he was well-accustomed to falling and giving himself severe head wounds.

"I need you to answer a few questions for me. What is your full name?"

"Christopher Anthony John Martin."

"When were you born?"

"March 2nd, 1977."

"Very good. Now, can you please write that information down for me?" The man took the paper and pen that was handed to him and wrote the responses out correctly.

"Good, good," mumbled Jonny. "That's all for now." As he began to leave, he glanced over his shoulder. The man's one good eye stared back at him. He was clearly in a good deal of pain. Jonny decided to ask one more question. "How are you feeling?" he questioned softly. Since this man was clearly crazy, he fully expected to receive a response along the lines of "I'm dying." Instead, he received the most shocking answer of his life.

"I am fine, just unlucky," was Christopher's reply. He actually attempted a smile as he said this. His mouth turned slightly upwards, still surrounded with dried blood, and although his jaw shook with pain, he managed a small grin. Jonny had never seen or heard anything like it before.



Chapter 2

Some hours later, the results of the MRI came in. This was always where the skills of Jonny's profession were truly used to the fullest. A nurse knocked on his office door, and handed him the scans. He thanked her, and began to take a look at them. After only a few moments, he pinpointed the problem, and frowned. It appeared that Christopher had suffered a concussion. It wasn't as major as he had thought it would be, but it was still serious.

He made his way to Christopher's room to deliver the news to him. But he arrived there to find a room without a bed. A nurse was busy hooking up a heart monitoring device to the wall.

"Excuse me, where is the patient? I have to tell him about the results of his MRI."

"Oh, he is just getting some x-rays."

"X-rays?" Jonny found himself oddly worried about that.

"Yes, it looked as though he may have had a broken arm. He should be back soon."

"Okay." Jonny waited in the room feeling awkward, even though he had no reason to feel that way.

After a few minutes a couple of nurses wheeled the bed, with Christopher in it, back into the room. Christopher noticed Jonny right away and tried to smile at him again. Jonny wanted to tell him to stop, that he was going to hurt himself. He wanted to tell him to feel sorry for himself, like a normal person would. Instead he gave a small smile in return. He grabbed a chair and pulled it beside the bed. Sitting down, he began explaining the situation.

"I got the results back from your MRI, and it appears as though you have a concussion. It is not very serious, but it is not a mild one either. We will need to keep you here for at least three nights to monitor you."

"Okay," Christopher replied agreeably. He showed no signs of irritation or non compliance. He seemed to have no problems accepting the consequences of his actions. Jonny was stunned. This man was dodging every stereotype Jonny had formed about people in all his years as a doctor. Although ruffled considerably by Christopher's strange demeanor, Jonny did his best to continue the explanation.

"The first night will probably be the most difficult for you. You will not be allowed to sleep at all. If you were to fall asleep, there is a possibility that you could slip into a coma, so it is very important that you stay awake. A nurse will be in the room at all times to ensure that you stay conscious. And....we'll see how it goes from there."

Jonny noticed Christopher's good eye enlarge in a manner that expressed sadness. He thought this crazy man was finally about to have a normal reaction to this less than ideal news. It wasn't anger, but at least it was something. Or it would have been, had Jonny not been incorrect in judging him once again.

"I'm sorry," Christopher said quietly. "I have caused you and the other staff members so much trouble with my clumsiness." Jonny couldn't even fathom a reply to that. He thought this had to be some kind of joke or something. He searched for a trace of laughter in Christopher's eye. But all he found was regret.

"You're....sorry?" he mumbled these words so incoherently that he was sure that Christopher had not heard him. But he must have, because he nodded in reply, an act which was not the wisest one to perform. He immediately flinched with pain.

Jonny frowned with concern. "That reminds me. We have you on only mild pain killers right now. In these early stages after your injury, we cannot risk giving you anything stronger. So I am sorry, but you are going to be in a lot of pain for a while."

"That's okay. I deserve it anyways, for being so clumsy."

Jonny stared at him incredulously. He felt like telling Christopher that he was being completely ridiculous, that a man as decent and kind as he did not deserve anything but happiness. He had no idea where that was coming from, because he didn't even know this man. Instead, he said "Christopher, you seem like a nice guy, even if you are clumsy. You don't deserve anything like that."

"Just call me Chris, doctor," he replied, ignoring the rest of what Jonny had said.
"Chris then." He looked at him for a few moments. "I hope you feel better soon," he said quietly and then left the room. Once outside in the bustling hallway, he had an urge to slap himself a couple of times in the face, to ensure that he was still sane.

Never in all his years as a doctor had he told a patient he hoped they would feel better soon. It wasn't that he didn't hope that. It was more along the lines that he couldn't say it, because it might give the patient false hope. Either that or it might make them become hopeless; hearing a doctor use a word like "hope" instead of "I know" or "of course".

But now he had said it. And he was beginning to question what was going on in his head. Especially because he was beginning to form an ever increasing desire to walk right back into Chris's room and sit down in that chair and just stay there with him. He wanted to sit there and just look at him. And maybe pick his brain a bit.

He looked down at his watch. Three o'clock. Past lunch time. No wonder he was acting so oddly. He decided to go down to the cafeteria. He had some spare time on his hands, a rarity when working as a doctor. Surely he could clear his head after a good meal.



Chapter 3

Ten minutes later Jonny felt his beeper go off. He threw out his half eaten bag of chips and dashed to the ER. There would be no lunch break today. The chaos was evident as soon as he entered the area. Nurses and doctors ran around frantically. Among the crazy mass of people Jonny pinpointed the one other person besides Chris who he found at all interesting at the moment.

Will was busy giving some scared looking people checkups. He was a cardiologist, but like Jonny did he not mind lending a hand once in a while, even though trauma was not his field at all. The people looked a bit banged up, they sported some nice bruises and some were a bit bloody. But their injuries didn’t look too severe.

However, there was another group who looked to be in much worse condition. After a quick update on the situation from Will, Jonny hurried over to the group that was in poor shape. Apparently there had been an accident a few miles down the road, and a small bus had turned over sideways. The people lying before him were the passengers, clearly.

“All of them are going to need MRIs,” he said immediately. “We can’t take any risks with accidents like this.”

The nurses within earshot nodded and soon patient after patient was whisked away for head scans. Looking around, Jonny decided that there was nothing left for him to do here. He thought about getting a decent meal, but found he was no longer hungry. Instead he slinked off to his office for a little relaxation time before the streams of paperwork from the new MRI scans started to come in.

A few minutes later there was a short knock on the door of the office. Will entered immediately without waiting for a response. He knew he didn’t need to, he and Jonny had been close friends since they first met in college and invasions of privacy was just a part of the package. Jonny looked up and met the serious eyes of his friend. He swallowed nervously. That expression meant one thing. Will was going to give him one of his famous interrogations.

“What gives Jonny? There is definitely something going on with you today, you’re not yourself.”

Trying to deny these accusations was completely pointless. Besides, they were true. “I know I’m not. I have been doing strange things all day. I thought it was because I was hungry or something, but now I am beginning to doubt that.”

“What happened?” Will asked with concern. Jonny was usually so clear headed.

“I think it’s all because of this…..this one patient we got today. His name is Christopher. He told me to call him Chris, but I think Christopher sounds much better.”

“So you two struck up a conversation then? You seem to know a lot about him.”

Jonny blushed. “What, his name? No Will that was on his chart.”

“But the nickname wasn’t. And it’s not like you to remember such trivial details. What did he say to you that is affecting you so much?”

Jonny frowned at his desk. “It was the strangest thing Will. He fell down two flights of stairs. Naturally I thought he must’ve wanted the attention. But when I asked his how he was doing, he said he was fine. Even as his mouth turned up in a pained smile, he said he was fine.”

“Oh you and your stereotypes. There are exceptions to every rule you know Jon. What interests me far more is that you asked him how he was doing in the first place. That is not like you.”

Jonny lowered his head in shame. “I know it isn’t. I don’t know why I did it. I just…. looked into his eyes, well, his one good eye, and it just slipped out.” He sat there for a moment’s time then suddenly slammed his hand down on the desk. Will didn’t so much as flinch. “And then later I told him I hoped he would be okay! How ridiculous is that!?”

“This is very interesting. Not so much what you said as the way you are reacting to having said it. So you slipped up and used that god-awful word hope. So what? It happens to the best of us every once in a while.”

“But now he’s either going to think he will definitely get better or that he definitely won’t! I don’t want him to have to go through that.”

“Why not?”

“Well, because both are horrible states of mind in a hospital!”

Will leaned in and eyed him curiously. “Jonny,” he said softly, “I know why it is wrong in the eyes of a doctor, but what I want to know is why it is wrong in your eyes specifically.”

Jonny didn’t reply. He just stared at his desk.

“Mull it over for a while. Then, in a couple of hours, check on how he’s doing. See what happens, see how you feel.”

Jonny nodded. He could swear he saw Will smirking as he left. He wondered what farfetched reasons Will had thought up. It was too bad these interrogations were always one-sided. He rubbed his head and laid it on his desk. He did not mull anything over that afternoon. Instead, he slept.



Chapter 4

There was an echo in Jonny’s head. At first it was faint, but it steadily grew louder until it was a constant, pulsing beat. And it sounded familiar. It reminded him of Will. He jerked his head up. It was the sound of knocking.

“Come in,” he called with uncertainty. He was disoriented and had no idea who could want him right now.

A nurse entered carrying a large stack of paperwork. Jonny could tell that she noticed he had been sleeping, because she looked embarrassed and remorseful about interrupting his nap. “These are for you to look through, when you have the time,” she stuttered. “It’s from those bus crash patients from earlier.”

“Thank you.” Jonny gave her a tired smile and she backed out of the room in a hurry. Jonny hated the place in society that his name tag gave him. He had everyone’s respect, but not their friendship. This was why he was glad to have Will, at least.

He spent a good hour or so looking everything over. None of the patients had any major head trauma. This was good news. Jonny wanted to believe that he was happy that those poor people weren’t badly hurt. In reality he was just happy that he would have only one patient to check on tonight.

Right on cue, it seemed, his beeper went off. He looked at is watch in surprise. He had no idea it was six o’clock already. He left his office quickly and there was a bounce in is step. Finally he would be escaping the mundane duties of his job and could be entertained. It was time to check on Chris.

He couldn’t help his shocked expression when he entered the room. Chris’s arm was covered in white plaster that went from his hand all the way up past his elbow. But his face had been cleaned of blood, so that was an improvement, although small. “What happened to you?” he asked with a smirk.

“My two left feet happened,” Chris replied sheepishly. He grinned. “So what have you got in store for me this evening doctor?”

Jonny ignored the question. “You can call me Jonny.”

“Okay, Jonny then. What are you here for?”

Although Jonny knew Chris meant no harm by it, he couldn’t help feeling a little hurt by Chris’s words. “Well….” He stuttered, trying to keep his professional manner intact. “I would like to check on the looks of that head wound again. We’ve got to be careful to monitor for any signs of infection.”

“I got it stitched up a bit.”

“Yes, that will help it heal faster. But I still need to check it out.”

“Okay,” Chris said feebly.

Jonny looked straight at him, the way he would if he were relating horrible news to the relatives of a patient. He didn’t know what made him do it. But he spoke in a soft and comforting voice. “I know it hurts. I really am sorry about that. It will only take a second, okay?” And now he was acting like he was dealing with a young child. He rubbed his face with frustration. He needed to get a grip.

“Okay,” Chris said, sounding more assured. He actually did sound a bit like a little kid, and it made Jonny want to smile. Gently lifting the bandages away from Chris’s head, he did a quick examination. The stitches had indeed made the injury look a lot better. And there were no signs that might point to infection. He gingerly covered it with the bandages once again.

“You’re all set for now, it looks just fine. No sign of infection at all.”

“That’s good.” Chris was visibly relieved. Somewhere deep inside, Jonny was disappointed. He couldn’t explain why, but secretly suspected that it had something to do with the fact that an infection meant he would be staying there late. Chris cleared his throat. “Thank you for being so kind to me. I appreciate it. I know I might not be the easiest person to deal with.”

“Don’t mention it. You are a fine patient. Better than most actually.”

“Oh….good!” Chris exclaimed happily. “I was so worried I was being a burden.”

Jonny shook his head at him. “You are quite a character you know.”

Chris grinned widely. Caught up in the moment, he sat up energetically to give Jonny some sort of clever reply. But he forgot an important factor. He immediately fell back down on the bed, wincing in pain.

Instantly Jonny was worried. “What’s wrong? Where does it hurt?”

Still wincing through the pain, Chris gave a raspy reply. “Oh don’t worry, it’s nothing. Just a few cracked ribs.”

Jonny’s eyes widened. He forgot all about being professional. “Cracked ribs!? My god you did all that damage falling down some stairs?”

“Hey, it was two whole flights,” Chris defended.

“True,” Jonny chuckled. He watched Chris with pity as he tried to make himself comfortable. “I’ll have one of the nurses bring in some extra pillows. Since you can’t have any more medicine, you need all the help you can get.”

“That would be nice,” Chris said wistfully.

Jonny went into the hall and walked up to a nurse and gestured to where Chris was. “No one told me the patient in this room had cracked ribs.”

“Well…it was on his chart,” the nurse replied nervously, not wanting to seem disrespectful.

“Oh I never….I mean….I guess I must’ve missed it.”

“We all make mistakes,” the nurse said, forcing a small smile.

“Yes,” Jonny agreed. “Now, is there any chance we can get the man in that room some more pillows? He’s in a good deal of pain.”

“Right away.”

Jonny stood in the hall like a zombie. He hadn’t checked the chart. He couldn’t believe how careless he was being. It was scaring him. The blinds of the glass-walled room were open. Jonny watched as a nurse came in carrying a few fluffy white pillows. She helped Chris position himself with them. He watched as she left the room. And he watched as a contented smile crossed Chris’s face as he finally became more comfortable.

He felt an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t know what to do with himself. He checked his watch. Much to his relief, it was now seven o’clock. His shift was over. He could finally escape this place and the hopefully the weird way he had been acting. It was time for an evening of relaxation and a full night of sleep.



Chapter 5

As Jonny headed out the door, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Will right behind him.

“Want to get a drink?”

“Uh…sure.”

“Thank you for making this easy on me. If you had said no, I would have had to use force,” he laughed.

Jonny laughed too, but Will could hear that it was strained. “I know you haven’t been yourself today. And whatever the reason for that, I thought you could use a break.”

“Thanks,” Jonny said, a genuine smile crossing his face. “It has been a weird day for me.”

“Well now you can forget about it for a little while. Come on.”

They went to the usual place. Will ordered them both drinks. Jonny protested, but Will insisted on paying, repeating that he “could use a break.” Jonny gave up on the argument. Will always won. And besides, he really could use a break.

But after a couple of drinks, Jonny was ready to leave. He had never been much of a drinker, and after only a small amount of alcohol he was already sick of it. Will didn’t protest this time. He thought Jonny looked marginally better than he had earlier, and that was enough for him, for the time being at least.

“G’bye Will. See you tomorrow.”

“See ya Jonny. Get some sleep, okay?”

“I’ll try.”

Normally he would walk home, since it was only a few blocks. But tonight he wanted to collapse on his couch as soon as he could, so he hailed a taxi. In five minute’s time he was unlocking his front door. He headed to the couch and grabbed for the remote, without even bothering to change his clothes first as he usually did. He blindly flipped through the channels until deciding on some old movie he had never heard of.

He tried to focus on it, but soon his thoughts turned to his day at work. Actually, they went straight to Chris, much to Jonny’s dismay. He searched in vain for some sort of explanation for this, and for his previous actions. It was sometime during this thought process that he fell asleep.

His sleep was deep, but unfulfilling. He dreamed in bits and pieces that he couldn’t put together, or even remember when he woke up. He woke up feeling like he had never slept at all. He groaned and squinted to read his watch by the still-flickering light of the tv. It was three thirty in the morning. Three thirty in the morning, and yet he was wide awake.

He lay there, trying to decide if he should bother trying to fall back asleep. He got up. It was hopeless. There was no way sleep was going to come again. Instead he decided to get himself some food. He turned on the kitchen lights and had a look around. He decided on cereal. It was quick and easy.

As he ate, he listened to the silence around him, if that was possible. He surprised himself by feeling lonely. He had always been quite content living alone. But now he wasn’t so sure. He wanted to see another face.

He decided he wanted to go back to the hospital, even though his shift didn’t begin for another five hours or so. Surely he had patients he should be checking on anyways; urgent cases that needed his immediate attention. At least, that’s what he told himself as he headed out the door.

He didn’t even realize that he was walking until he was halfway there. And by that point, he thought it was pointless to get into a cab. By the time he reached the hospital he was sweating. It had somehow gotten warmer overnight. He took some deep breathes once he was inside and felt the cool air conditioning on his skin as he walked to a destination that was undisclosed even to himself, until he arrived there.

Somehow he was standing in the hallway by Chris’s room. There were chairs in the hall, so he sat. The blinds were closed but for a small area, where a small break in them allowed Jonny to see into the room. All he could make out was a shadowy figure lying on the bed. Jonny assumed that Chris would be sleeping. He considered walking in, but was afraid of waking him, because that would mean coming up with an explanation for his actions.

Unfortunately he had to give that explanation anyways, because just then Will turned the corner and saw him sitting there. His eyes were full of questions. But he only asked one. “Jonny, what are you doing here?”

Jonny panicked. He had no idea how to explain himself. He truly did not even have an explanation to give. “Uh…well….why are you here?” he asked sharply.

Will narrowed his eyes. He wasn’t going to let this go. “I just finished giving emergency surgery. But I asked why you’re here.”

“I…um…well…I got a call to come in for an emergency examination, but the person…um…died…I guess.” He knew it was a weak reply, but it was all he had.

Will sighed in frustration. “That’s crap Jonny, and you know it. You don’t get called in for emergency anything.” He softened his tone. “Please, just tell me what is actually going on with you.”

“I don’t know Will!” was Jonny’s rueful reply. “I already told you everything I could. “Chris is just….really interesting. But it’s making me lose my concentration.” He put his head in his hands and sighed loudly. “I don’t know what the fuck is happening to me.”

The look Will gave him showed Jonny that even though he didn’t understand it himself, Will certainly seemed to. “Jonny, listen to me. You wait for him to wake up. Then you go in there, and you tell him how you feel.”

“But I don’t know how I feel!” Jonny replied indignantly.

“Yes you do. You told me you found him interesting. Tell him that.”

“And then what!?” he asked, frustrated.

“I don’t know, see what happens. See how it goes.” But Will’s tone said that he did know what would happen.

“What do you mean?” Jonny asked skeptically.

“You’ve got to figure this out for yourself, Jon.” Jonny was then left to wonder what Will could be talking about, and decide whether or not to punch him. But one thing he did decide on was that he would indeed go talk to Chris later that morning.



Chapter 6

“Later” came sooner than he had expected because of two important factors, the fact that Jonny could not restrain his curiosity and the fact that Chris was a light sleeper. After only a few minutes of sitting, Jonny just had to go into the room. He didn’t know what he planned to do there. He figured he could, at the very least, view Chris up close instead of from the hallway.

But the door was louder than he thought it would be, and his own footsteps were hopelessly noisy. Within seconds Chris eyes fluttered open, and he looked straight at Jonny. Jonny froze like a criminal who had been caught red-handed. Chris shifted around, trying to sit up. Jonny moved to help him.

“Thank you,” Chris replied, still sleepy. “Why….why are you here?” He asked slowly. He blinked a few times, trying to become alert. Succeeding, he sat up further, widening his eyes to their usual size.

“I…um…was just checking up on you.” He tried to smile, but he could tell he was failing miserably. Chris seemed to buy it though.

“Oh, okay.”

Jonny instantly regretted his words. He thought of what Will had told him. “Listen, Chris, I didn’t come here to check up on you. I mean, it is necessary for me to do so, at some point anyways. But this time I just came here because I wanted to.”

“You…wanted to?” Chris asked in confusion.

“Um….yeah. I woke up in the middle of the night, and I didn’t feel tired at all so I didn’t try and go back to sleep. I was bored…and….lonely,” he admitted. “And the first person I thought of, strangely, was you.”

Chris didn’t look creeped out by this, as Jonny thought he would. Instead he looked distraught, like he just couldn’t fathom it. “Why me?” he asked in a whisper.

“Because you’re interesting.” Jonny thought for a moment and decided that he was glad he admitted it. It felt good.

Chris laughed, and it sounded almost rude in the quietness of the early morning. “You think I’m interesting? I’m sorry doctor, I don’t mean to laugh, but that is hilarious. I am one of the most boring people you will ever meet.”

“I told you to call me Jonny,” he replied almost angrily. “And you’re not. You’re not, Christopher. You are, in all honesty, the most interesting person I have ever met. I mean that.”

“And I told you to call me Chris,” he said with another laugh.

“See, it’s things like that which make you so interesting to me.”
Chris rubbed his eyes. He scratched his head. He stretched his good arm. And he stared. Then finally, he spoke.”What else did I do?”

“Huh?” Jonny asked stupidly.

“What else did I do that made me so interesting to you? Please. I’d really like to know. No one has ever said anything like that to me before.”

“Oh, well, it’s hard to explain. Maybe you’d have to be a doctor to truly understand, but you don’t act like other patients do. You aren’t dramatic and you don’t exaggerate your injuries. Actually, you understate them. You shrug them off, like they are no big deal. And you don’t put up a fuss. You are compliant and understanding. But the craziest thing about you is you actually blame yourself for everything that’s happened to you since you came here.”

“Oh so now I’m crazy?” he asked, his eyes smiling.

“And that. That thing you do, where you ignore any compliment given to you. Even now, when you basically just asked me to tell you some of them.”

“Oh. Well, I figure I’m not all that great. I mean, I live with myself every day, so I should know. Right?”

Jonny just smiled. “Well I find you interesting, Chris. Maybe you can’t understand why, but that’s just how it is.”

“You know you’re pretty interesting yourself. You want people to call you Jonny, even though you are a doctor.”

“Well, I’d rather be treated like an average person, not an authority figure,” Jonny responded quietly.

“I understand.”

Jonny looked straight at Chris for no real reason, and Chris smiled widely just for the heck of it. Jonny just had to smile back. The craziness was contagious, it seemed. Eventually though, Jonny decided that he had made the situation sufficiently awkward.
“I’ll leave you be now. You need your rest, I’m sure. I feel bad for waking you up in the first place.”

“No worries. I’m a light sleeper. A flea’s sneeze could wake me up.” Chris laughed as he realized the ridiculousness of his statement. Jonny laughed right along with him. This made Chris laugh even more. He was truly enjoying Jonny’s presence. Unfortunately, he forgot about his injuries again and as he laughed even harder, he suddenly cried out in pain.

Jonny was hovering over him instantly. He eyes were wide with fear. “Are you okay?”
Chris swallowed and gripped his sides. He held back the tears that were building up in his eyes. “Yes,” he gasped. “I’m…okay.” But his voice could not lie. He was clearly experiencing harsh pains due to the cracked ribs.

Jonny was filled with pity for him. He was so kind, and so innocent. He was, at that moment, the last person Jonny thought deserved to be in any kind of pain. He tried to reason things through in his mind, but he couldn’t keep himself from saying the unthinkable. “Hold on. I will tell one of the nurses to give you a stronger pain killer.”

Chris immediately showed relief. “Oh…thank you. Thank you so much.”

“Of course,” Jonny said with a stupid smile on his face. He wanted to kick himself. Instead he called over a nurse and had her replace the medicine. Jonny felt all of his ridiculous stupidity was worth it, however, when he saw Chris’s body become less tense almost instantly.

“I feel so much better, thank you Jonny.” He smiled wider than Jonny had ever seen before. Jonny regretted nothing. He could lose his job because of this, but he didn’t even care. And he gave no thought whatsoever before answering a semi-random and ridiculous question of Chris’s.

“The sun is coming up. I usually like to watch the sunrise. But I can’t see it very well from here,” he said sadly. “Do you think….maybe….you could take me outside? Just for a little while?”

Jonny knew he should say no. He told himself to say no. He tried to force himself to say no. But he couldn’t help it. “Yes” he replied.



Chapter 7

“Thank you so much for doing this. I really do appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.”

“But I don’t understand why I have to sit in this stupid wheelchair,” Chris grumbled.

“Standard hospital policy,” Jonny replied simply. “That, and the fact that I want to make myself feel like what I am doing is not quite so wrong.”

“What’s wrong about it? You are helping me. Doctors are supposed to help their patients, right?”

“Well yeah, but you are really not in any sort of condition to be going outside, even for a little while.”

“Oh,” Chris said quietly. He looked up at Jonny with big, worried eyes. Jonny assumed he was going to ask what potential risks there were to his health by going outdoors. But Jonny realized that he should know Chris better than that by now. So he wasn’t quite so surprised to hear Chris ask in a small voice, “Jonny, are you going to get into trouble for doing this?” He sounded like a small child. It made Jonny even more willing to do anything for him, and much less willing to admit the risks he was taking himself by taking Chris outside.

“No, it’s fine Chris,” he lied. “Doctors do this all of the time. I just wanted you to know that there are dangers in doing this. I sure don’t want a lawsuit on my hands after all,” he laughed. “Not that I think you are the type of person who would file one of those.”

“Okay good. I don’t want to put your position at risk or anything.”

Jonny rolled his eyes. Once again, Chris had skillfully dodged a compliment. “Don’t worry about it,” he told Chris. By that time they had reached the doors that would lead them to a little garden in the middle of the hospital grounds. Small though it was, it was perfect for viewing a sunrise, because none of the buildings blocked the eastern horizon from being visible.

Once outside, Jonny noticed that there were benches too. He pushed Chris over next to one of them and sat down. He realized that he had never been out here before. And he regretted it. The view was gorgeous. The sun had not even become visible yet, but it still gave off enough light so that the sky lit up in stunning pinks, oranges, and reds. This limited light also produced a certain hue on the ground, giving all of the plants an interesting color.

“Jonny, isn’t it just lovely how the sunrise makes the clouds look like cotton candy?”

Jonny looked back up at the sky. It was true; they did resemble the sugary treat. Jonny was ashamed for never noticing before. He realized that all his life he had never really focused on details. He only saw the big picture. And now he regret that. “Yes, it is quite lovely indeed.”

Now Jonny found himself searching for more details. He started by looking at the sky, but after only a few moments he found his eyes wandering to Chris sitting beside him. His facial expression clearly expressed his awe for the sights before him. His eyes were wider than should be possible for a human being, and bluer than they should be capable of being. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed before.

Jonny knew in the back of his mind that he should be keeping track of the time. It would not bode well for him if someone found Chris missing from his room. But he slowly began to realize that he truly did not care. For the first time in a long time, he was doing something interesting with someone interesting. Details in themselves were quite interesting, he began to find. If he had been looking at the big picture, he never would have realized how little he actually cared about his job.

It was the little details that were the telltale signs of the general contempt he had for his position. He never laughed, he rarely smiled, and he was constantly aching to get home so he could watch some mind numbing television show he didn’t even like. At least that’s how it had been until Chris. He felt he could separate his life into eras. B.C., for Before Chris, and A.C. for After Chris.

But there was no A.C., at least, not yet. But Jonny was determined that there would be. He suddenly had an urge to change. But what he should change, he did not yet know. He decided he had time to figure that out, though, and went back to taking in the scenery.

Not long after that, he heard Chris sigh happily. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement. His eyes widened as he saw Chris trying to ease himself out of the wheelchair. He jumped off the bench. “Chris, what are you doing? You shouldn’t stand up yet, you’re in no condition-“

“I just want to get a better view,” Chris insisted. He managed to stand firmly on his two feet. Jonny sighed with relief. He began to make a joke, but the words got caught in his throat when he saw Chris’s eyes suddenly widen in pain. He clutched his chest and Jonny could only stare in shock. There was a dull thud. And then Chris was lying in an odd position on the ground, unconscious.

Jonny continued to stare foolishly at him for a few seconds. Then he felt his legs go week, and he collapsed to the ground in front of Chris. He tried feeling for a pulse, but his hands were shaking so badly that he couldn’t manage it. He forgot everything. He forgot about the consequences of his actions, he forgot that he was outside, and he forgot that he was a doctor. Instead he just screamed for someone, anyone to help.



Chapter 8

Out of pure good fortune a nurse happened to glance one of the windows that faced the little courtyard and notice the scene. She sprinted out immediately to where Chris lay and where Jonny was staring blankly at him. She tried in vain to get any sort of information from Jonny. He was in a state of shock.

However, although the nurse didn't know it, Jonny was aware of her presence. But he simply could not find a way to make his mouth move, or any part of him move for that matter. He was frozen in time. All he could think was that Chris was hurt. Chris was injured, there was something wrong with him. And he had a sinking suspicion that it was all his fault.

Jonny just watched, still as a statue, while the nurse felt for a pulse. Apparently she didn't find one because her movents became more frenzied. She took out her beeper and paged someone. Soon there was a team of three doctors rushing outside with a defibrillator. Then they were kneeling over Chris. One of them charged the paddles, and another gave the okay.

Again Jonny could do nothing but watch as the paddles made contact with Chris's chest, forcing it up with the powerful electricity being emitted. The third doctor held Chris down to prevent further injury as a result from the jolting. This process was repeated several times as Jonny looked on with cold, dead eyes and no expression whatsoever.

After a seemingly endless period of time, one of the jolts finally had the desired effect. Chris opened his eyes with a start and gasped. The relief in the air was almost palpable. The three doctors gave each other small smiles, which were basically like high-fives in this field of work.

Jonny melted then. His muscles returned to proper working order. Or at least fair working order. Tears slid down his face and he slowly managed to stand. Seeing Chris's eyes open and his chest moving without the help of any machine, although slowly, was like winning the lottery to Jonny. Dozens of thank yous pushed past his lips.

The thank yous were not just as a result of the saving of Chris's life. Jonny thought they were also in order because the revival of Chris had made him realize what his true feelings had been all this time. Chris was indeed the most interesting person he had known, though only briefly. But he recognized now that his feelings stretched further than that.

This single patient was now Jonny's lifeblood. Chris had quickly become the main supplier of blood and oxygen to Jonny's heart. Without Chris, Jonny might as well have an actual heart attack. He needed this man now. He did not understand how this was possible to achieve in such a small length of time, but here was no use denying that it was true.

He dried his eyes as he followed the three doctors and the nurse back inside the building as they pushed Chris on a gurney that the nurse had retrieved. Soon Chris was safely back in an intensive care room. A heart monitor was quickly hooked up to him, and with every little beep of the machine Jonny's joy increased.

Chris looked around slowly, quite disoriented. But it wasn't long before he noticed Jonny standing before him. Their eyes met, and Jonny couldn't retain his smile.

"Chris, you don't know how glad I am that you are okay. You should have seen the state I was in. I couldn't even remember any of my medical training."

Chris's eyes filled with tears that quickly spilled over. "Oh doctor, I am so sorry!" he cried in despair. "That was such a stupid, irresponsible-"

"What's with all this doctor stuff?" Jonny interrupted. "I thought we agreed that you'd call me by my name."

"Well, I assume that my actions have caused me to lose my friendship with you. I was so selfish, doctor. I could have cost you your job!" His crying intensified and he began to sob.

Jonny glared at him so fiercely that Chris immediately quieted down and the tears stopped flowing altogether. "Fuck my job," he said quietly. "There is nothing of interest for me in this job."

Chris gaped at Jonny. "You...you don't mean that do you!?"

"Of course I mean it," Jonny replied simply.

Chris continued to gape at him and Jonny just shrugged. Chris wanted to say more, but at that moment a doctor breezed into the room. He sat in a chair with his clipboard covering all of his face but his eyes. His eyes just barely peered over the top, and they gave Jonny disapproving looks. Jonny ignored them.

"Let's see here...Mr. Martin. The results of your tests are in and it seems that you had a heart attack, as we suspected. It was caused by a combination of an overly strong pain medication and an already present heart problem." When he mentioned the pain medicine he glared at Jonny and Jonny suddenly felt the weight of guilt upon him.

"So...what does this mean?" Chris asked in a small voice.

"Well, the underlying heart problem seems to be a defect you have had since birth. It was somehow never noticed until now. But it is a fairly serious defect, and open heart surgery will be necessary to resolve the problem."

"Okay." Chris seemed to be shrinking by the second.

"I will get you a form to sign, and the surgery should begin in about four hours." With that he exited the room. Chris shriveled up among the sheets.

"Jonny?" he whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I told you I was unlucky."

* * * * * * * * * * *

Some hours later, Chris was wheeled out of surgery and into the recovery room. Jonny jumped up from the seat he had been sitting on in the waiting room. He hurried down the hall, but not to Chris. Instead, he caught Will just as he was exiting the surgery room.

"Thank you for doing this last minute Will."

"That's what I'm here for. It is my job, you know."

"I know. But still, thanks. Okay...honestly I came here to thank you for something else."

Will smiled knowingly. "I figured that."

Jonny blushed. "Well...just...thanks for the advice. It really helped me figure some things out."

"That's what friends are for Jon."

Jonny smiled and hurried back the other way, to meet Chris in the recovery room. He sat beside him until Chris finally opened his eyes.

"Jonny....you're here?" he asked sleepily.

"Of course I am." He shifted his eyes around the room. "The doctors say that you shouldn't be left to care for yourself for a while. Is there anyone you can stay with?"

"I'm sure I can find someone." But his worried eyes gave him away.

"Stay with me, then."

"What? No way! I couldn't intrude like that. I've caused you enough trouble as it is, what with your job and all."

"Oh shut up Chris. You should know by now that I would be willing to do anything for your sake."

Chris smiled. "I do."

"Well then, it's settled. You will move in with me as soon as you are discharged."

Chris was silent for a while. "What about your job?"

"I told you already. Fuck this job. They are going to fire me anyways for this incident. But I don't care, mind you. I welcome it. I don't need that shit anymore. I have you."

Chris grinned from ear to ear. "I was wrong. I am not unlucky at all. I am very lucky indeed."

Jonny smiled in return. He didn't say it out loud, but deep down he knew that he was the lucky one.




THE END